P.O.C.A.

I could see myself sitting here years from now
Reflecting on this time and wondering how
I never got the courage to go out and change
This state I'm in, how I was too afraid to rearrange.
I could see myself frowning at the current status
And begging to know why I didn't give in to the madness.
I can see tears streaming down my face as I think how easy it would have been
If only I had the courage to do what I wanted to then.

I know people have their opinions on what I should do
But I'm tired of following what they say, instead of doing what I want to.
If I want to be a part of something or of someone's life,
Then sheesh, let me at least give it an honest try.

I don't want to be sitting here years from now,
Hating myself because I can't answer how
I didn't give it a shot when I very well could have.
I don't want to be lonely and drive myself mad.

So years from now I'll sit and be happy, because I did what I felt I should
Even when nobody thought I actually could.

-Allison S. De Arton

Week 11: Soul-less

Many people claim that I don't have a soul.
They say this because of a certain episode on a certain show.
I used to get offended, trying to state I did,
But then reality set in and the truth could no longer be hid.
Yes, the rumors are not fake and reveal the secrets of a redhead.
I have no soul and might as well be dead.
Instead I steal yours so you can feel my pain,
But the only thing I get from you is another freckle gained.
Having no soul is quite the experience some might say,
But honestly it just makes it harder to go out during the day.
I love my red hair and wouldn't trade it for the world.
Some might say that makes me an odd kind of girl.
Oh well, their words don't bother me,
And I really hope you have fun this Halloween!

-Allison S. De Arton

A Little Bit of Allison: Time

I've always thought time was an interesting thing. The more I've thought about it though, the more crazy the concept of time actually is. Think about it, and you'll understand.

Time is such a major part of our lives. It governs pretty much everything we do. We wake up at a certain time. We go to work or school at a specific time. Meetings, tests, appointments...everything based on time. It's also very important to be "on time".

Another thing time has is answers. We've all heard the phrase "only time will tell" or "you'll see in time". This can either make us love time, or for people like me, hate it. I've always wanted to know what happens next, or who I will wake up next to for the rest of my life, or what my kids will look like. When I was in high school, I would always pray and ask if I could just wake up ten years from now and be there for five minutes, then I would be "good" for the rest of my days. Yeah, my wish was never granted.

There is also another thing time does. It heals. Yes, you read that correctly. Time has a mysterious way of fixing broken things. Broken hearts, broken friendships, and broken lives. Time has an interesting way of making the past hurt less, or seem less vivid. It has a way of making us forget or move on.

The final power of time that I'm going to blog about is time's ability for anticipation. Count downs for things such as the days until Christmas, your birthday, or the final seconds of the past year all give us a sense of excitement. I love the holidays for the sole purpose of the anticipated days that are all too short. Time has a way of making us wait, yet letting the fun times slip away all too quickly.

Well, thank you for taking the time (haha) to read this. Cheers!

-Allison

Week 10: Forgotten

It's only been a little while,
But here I am trying to remember your smile.

You haven't called or sent a text.
I figured this would be what happened next.

I was kind of hoping we'd always be friends...
But now it looks like I don't matter to you, don't pretend.

I've messaged you a few times saying this or the other,
But alas no reply, I fear we've moved on from each other.

You were the one person who I would still call an acquaintance.
I didn't really think our friendship would need so much maintenance.

I feel as though I was a leaf in your life.
You watched it bloom and now that it's gone, you suffer no strife.

I drifted in the wind once the fall came and I fell from our tree,
But now I'm still drifting and you don't search after me.

Why was it that we had to become such very good mates?
I feel as though our time has now been wasted, as our lack of communication states.

Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter.
Your words were sweet, and me they did flatter,

But time is still going,
And a lack of interest in this "friendship" is all that you're showing.

-Allison S. De Arton

P.O.C.A.

This one is a little late, but I'm glad I waited :) Here goes:

I didn't want it to turn out this way,
But I'm sitting all alone.
I don't have a friend or anyone
To call on my phone.

I look down at the screen,
So empty it appears.
I don't know what I'm doing,
No I don't know what I'm doing here.

It's colder and feels lonely now,
It's me against the world.
I'm waiting for the final blow,
For the ending to unfurl.

I hear the words she said,
As she was saying it wasn't fair.
Oh how I wish I could relive that moment,
And feel the love I felt there.

Oh little one, I hope you understand
That whatever decision I make,
It's with your best interest at hand.

I wait for the day when everything will be clear.
When all this sadness will be worth the joy
That I will hold close to me so dear.

So I end this now, as I close my eyes.
I'll step on to the battlefield
And take the hits with no surprise.

I do everything I do for one purpose alone
And that is to end up happy,
And to end up in a glorious home.

Allison S. De Arton

Week 9: Disappointed

I guess I should've seen this coming.
Not one, but two friends throw me to the ground running.
I should've thought this would happen to me
Since they weren't great friends in the first place, you see.

I think I knew in the back of my mind,
That all this would happen in due time.
To be honest, I had hoped it wouldn't.
But alas I was a fool for thinking it couldn't.

What is a friend anyhow?
Is it someone who will let you down?
I used to think no, but now I'm unsure,
For it seems those friendships are left a blur.

You did what any friend should never do.
No, it doesn't matter what I've done to you.
Why? Because that's the point, I said I was sorry.
But that didn't stop you from hurting me harshly.

When it came down to it, you didn't even care.
You said "be careful who you trust" like I wasn't even there.
I'm tired of these games, and when you suddenly get mad.
I hate how these friendships now just make me sad.

Who knows what I will do, because I always seem to forgive.
If I didn't, with myself I just couldn't live.
So I guess I'll pretend like they didn't hurt me,
And make the lines of hurt and pain quite blurry.

-Allison S. De Arton

A Little Bit of Allison: The Power of a Song

Music is a very interesting thing. We all listen to it, whether it's rap, heavy metal, country, alternative, classical, or even dubstep. It seems there is a genre for everyone. I am a huge fan of music. I won't lie, I don't classify country, scream-o, or extremely heavy metal as music. That's just my opinion though. We are all entitled to one.

I was cleaning my living room today when a song played on my laptop. I had it on shuffle, so it was random. The song was a song someone and I once shared as "our song". I thought it was interesting that this simple song invited a flood of memories. So it got me thinking, how much power does music actually have? Well, a lot. It's the same with scents I've noticed. I used a certain shampoo that I used to buy all the time in high school, and it made me think of all the things going on in my life at that time.

Music is used all the time. Everywhere. It's used on television shows, commercials, movies, even political campaigns. It captures our attention and gives us a certain emotion, which is exactly what the creators want. If you watch a scary movie, it isn't half as scary if you take the music out. Intense moments in television are set up by a song that has you on the edge of your seat.

So this simple song that came on my computer set the mood for my cleaning. I didn't change it. Instead I relived the moments in my mind. Cherishing them as they switched from one memory to the next. One could say it made me sad, which I wouldn't disagree with that one. But I enjoyed the fact I was able to create those memories, those special moments, than to not have been able to live them at all.

Yes indeed music has an enchanting power over us, but I do believe it helps make life's moments even more fruitful.

Enjoy the next song you listen to, whatever influence it has on you.

-Allison