A Blow of Defeat, and A Whisper of Victory

It has come to my attention that I have more of an audience than I would have ever thought myself to have. For those of you who actually pay attention to particular posts on my blog, you'll notice that a few have been omitted. Now, I did not delete these posts because I was requested to by those that were offended by them. I don't delete anything because someone tells me to. I decided to delete a couple of posts because I wanted to let go of the toxic stories they shared.

If you don't know me well, you could assume I'm some crazy girl who likes to hide behind URLs and computer screens to send out my insults. And you would be correct. If you do know me well, you know that I vent through my blog and am usually over a situation after I've ranted about it. I've found that this often gets me in trouble and I should probably keep my ranting sessions limited to my journal where no one will read them.

For all those who have been offended by whatever I have posted, whether it be directly or indirectly offensive, I am sorry. Really, I am. I am usually a confident person, but when it comes to standing up for myself, I am just that petty girl hiding behind those URLs and computer screens.

A few months back, I found myself in a situation where I felt I couldn't have even my own back. I still don't recall why this situation arose, but for whatever reason, there were (and still are) a select few who didn't like my existence. I decided to post a blog about the situation and all but discretely talk about who it was and what happened. Well, that post is now deleted and I am going to do my best to forget about the situation and avoid whatever conflict I can.

The purpose of this post is to admit my defeat and move on from whatever conflict his blog has caused. I honestly used to think that no one would really take the time to read my posts, and so my venting was merely just a release. Well, I wish I was right.

Through these past few months I've learned that if you don't stand up for yourself, no one will. Don't ever assume anyone's allegiance belongs with you, and don't feel betrayed when people choose the more popular crowd over being your friend. Life will always happen, and even when you think it has settled down and things have moved on, chances are, something will come back up. The good thing I've learned is that one day everyone finds that one friend that is their companion for the rest of this life and the rest of forever. I am oh so very lucky to have mine, and I'm glad it's Lucas.

So, once again, if one of my tangents has offended you in one way or another, I am sorry. If you still want to hold it against me, that's your call, but no longer my problem. I can honestly say I don't have a grudge against anyone. Thank you to those who have supported me all along the way and have stayed my friend through the thick and thin. If you enjoyed reading my rants, I'm sorry, but my blog will no longer interest you. I'm still deciding what to post on here, but rants and tangents will not be among the selected.

-Allison Susanne De Arton