Long Time, No Read

Hello abandoned (once again) blog! I'm sorry to those of you who actually read my posts that I left for a while. In my defense, I did say that I was going to be off the blogging world for a bit. This isn't to say I'm necessarily returning so to speak, but just giving you all an update.

Well,  May 25th, 2016, I discovered I was pregnant! Lucas was out walking our dog we used to have, and when he came back in I told him the news with a onsie that said "I love my daddy". I was pretty nervous and just wanted the first 13 weeks to pass so I could know we would have a healthy baby. Even so, we were both excited for the long awaited news. The pregnancy went very well, even though the first trimester consisted of me throwing up daily and always feeling nauseated. On September 6th, 2016 we found out our bundle of joy would be a girl! I was definitely surprised because I was certain she was a boy. This pregnancy was vastly different than my first, so I thought the only explanation was a different gender. After a few months of growing what felt like a miniature planet in my stomach, McCartney Lyn was finally born on January 31st, 2017. Oh man was she beautiful! She still is, but that moment I first saw her is one I will never forget. And let me just tell you, seeing Lucas's expression when he saw McCartney for the first time made me cry. How lucky I am to have this wonderful man by my side as we bring up this beautiful girl we've been blessed with.

I'm assuming most of you have read my adoption story, (which if you're still following my blog--props to you) so I wanted to share how vastly different my second go around at being pregnant was. To state the obvious, my circumstances were pretty opposite from the first time. I had a loving husband, a baby was something we both wanted, and we put our trust in God that we would have a child at the right time. Those three things alone gave me the best nine months of my life. Lucas is so amazing, you guys. Like, you have no idea unless you've met him personally. He was literally at my beckon call any time I felt sick or uneasy. He put my socks on and tied my shoes for the last three months since reaching my feet was pretty challenging. He'd get me a glass of water after every time I ran to the bathroom to throw up. He made me lunches and brought them to my work, always consisting of things I had requested that morning. He massaged my feet if I asked him to, and he even sat down and did the online baby registry with me. Now, these things might sound standard or not really that big of a deal, but to me they were huge. I appreciated so much how Lucas took care of me and our soon-to-be baby. I think if I hadn't gone through the heart wrenching process of placing a baby by myself, I most definitely would not appreciate Lucas and his efforts as much as I did. He is such a stand up guy, though, so I'd be pretty pathetic not to appreciate him either way. ;)

Another thing that going through my first pregnancy taught me was not to complain. Ok, yes I did get pretty antsy the last few weeks of my pregnancy and wanted to just hold my stinking baby already, but in the first few months--I was grateful. I didn't mind losing my stomach constantly. I was ok feeling nauseous all of the time. I knew it was worth it, and that being pregnant is such a beautiful thing that should not be taken for granted. I thanked Heavenly Father in each of my prayers for blessing us with this opportunity. I know many women will tell you being pregnant is the worst and it is miserable, but I am not one of those. Yes, there are many uncomfortable nights and days. There are times you just cry because false labor tricked you again. But I would not trade it for anything. And holding your precious baby for the first time is something I could never put words to. Plus, seeing the man who helped you through it all sit and gaze upon his new little daughter is simply bliss. It truly is a miracle and such a wonderful experience.

I feel like I owe my experience of being single and pregnant a huge 'thank you'. And I owe the couple who adopted my baby an even bigger 'thank you'. Because of that situation, I was able to get everything I've always wanted. Because of that heartache and pain, I was able to appreciate the beauty of having my own child with my husband. I look at my life now and simply smile. This is what all that hell I went through was for. And let me tell you, it's so worth it. I would not change a single detail. My first daughter has a wonderful family and has every opportunity that I could not give her at the time. My second daughter has a mom and a dad that love her so much and can give her the life she deserves, and I am very proud to say I am that mom. This time I can give my sweet McCartney every shot at life she wants to take. She has a dad that is already wrapped around her finger, and has been since he found out about her. So, thank you Holly and Oley for loving Adelé and giving her everything she ever needed and deserved. Thank you broken path that lead me to adoption. And I thank my Heavenly Father for changing my stubborn mind that night several years ago in my bishop's office. I began turning my life around and was able to meet Lucas at the right time. Now, here we are with our own sweet little angel and I thank Him every day for all of it.

As per usual, my "update" turned into a gush of my life story, but hey, it's an update nonetheless. My life is pretty good right now.  I'll try to keep you posted ;)

-Allison S. Dahl

Problematic Resolution