Run From That Past: The Apology Who Could

While I am still working on making more animated/video type posts, I figured just a regular written one will do for today.

A few months ago, I saw a meme on Facebook that said "Sometimes You Have to Accept an Apology You Never Received". At first, I rolled my eyes. I thought it was a dumb meme that was probably a disguised jab at one of the posters friends. After a while though, the thought stuck with me. I realized it could mean something deeper than just a double-loaded meme.

In life, we get in fights with those we love. However the fight may come, it's the ones closest to us that can hurt us the most. In turn, we hurt those we are closest to as well. It's kind of amazing what a simple apology can do. The apologies that were short and sweet are the ones that have always had the biggest impact on me. A simple "I'm really sorry" can go a very long way. But what about the times you don't get an apology? What about the situations where you got hurt and the person on the other end didn't seem to care? Well, that's where this silly meme plays in.

In my mind, there are two reasons why someone wouldn't say sorry. The first, being the obvious one, is they don't think they are in the wrong. They feel they did what was in everyone's best interest and there is absolutely no reason for them to be sorry. I know I have been that person before, and I am certain I should've just swallowed my pride and said sorry. And meant it. The second is that the person simply isn't sorry. They know what they said or did hurt, but they felt that they had every right to do or say it, so they aren't sorry. How are you supposed to work with that?

I think the meme is trying to say that you just need to move on. Sometimes we get hurt, sometimes quite badly, and the person who hurt us isn't going to fess up. They aren't going to feel bad, and that will make you angry. Accepting an apology you never received is more than pretending the person said sorry. It's realizing you have no control over their actions and you just need to forgive them anyway. And then forget the situation and carry on. If you hold on to these situations or fights, in the end you are the only one hurting. Chances are they moved on, and so should you.

I've had a difficult time realizing this in my own life. I realize I need to be more apologetic and forgiving, and move on from the situations that cut me. It can be hard, but where there's a will, there's a way. Plus, time heals a lot of wounds, so more often than not, patience is what we need most.

We all have control over our own actions and our own feelings. Even though it make take time and may be painfully challenging, we can let go of the negative feelings towards those who hurt us. We can accept the apologies we never got, and forgive those who aren't sorry. Maybe we can also say sorry a little more, be kinder more often, and go back and apologize to those we've wounded. There's no need to hold onto to things longer than the thing actually lasted. Moving on can be freeing and bring a better joy than we thought it could. I know it has for me.

Well, I know this is short but I hope it made ya think just a little ;)

-Allison S. Dahl

Run From That Past: My Generation

When I originally wrote this, I wasn't sure who I meant by this specific group of people. After a few weeks, I decided the "generation" I place myself in (and the ones I describe in this post) are people who graduated (or were meant to graduate) high school between the years of 2008 and 2012. So, if you got your High School Diploma in 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, or 2012, this post is for you :) Enjoy!

To The Generation Labelers:

Good day, ladies and gents. I have some words for you.

When I was younger, I was told my generation was labeled the “Millennia’s Children” or something to that effect.

Then, it was Doomsday Survivors, Mayan Calendar Conquer’s and, my personal favorite, The Raptured.

Well, with all of those set aside, now I am hearing the word “entitled”.

I have a list of E- words we are:

Excited

Empowered

Empty Vessels

Encouragers

Elite Few

Entertainers

Entrepreneurs 

Engaged in Life

Ever-Changing, consequently, Ever-Adapting

So, I will accept any of these words, but I will not accept entitled. I have nice things yes, but I have labored for them. 

I learned how to do laundry at age 9. My mother paid me $10/hr at this age to pay for school clothes, birthday presents, and so on. I purchased an iMac and HP printer in 2014 and had it paid off by early 2015. (Thanks to my dear husband’s help).

I drive a Corolla that was given, but then payments were burdened upon my parents. Now we tag team it in a sense. Luke and I pay car insurance and registration fees ($200/month for insurance, about $350 for the registration). While my parents make the monthly payments for the vehicle itself.

The only debt Lucas and I have is our credit card that we keep current. This is to establish credit history because we are quite young. Our parents help us with our health insurance because it gained them lots of money to take us off of their plans. At least for my parents, this was the case. His and my parents also tag team this cost 50/50.

In case you are wondering, I am a white female. Age 23. Born in Idaho, raised partially in Washington, then partially in Idaho again. I have lived in California, Utah, and Nevada as well. We pay our rent, and the only federal assistance we receive is Financial Aid from our University. I work part time (28 hours a week) and Lucas can only work 20 hours for the school. Both of these jobs are hourly. I went for the full time position at my job and was not selected.

Therefore, whoever you are, please, don’t ever. Ever. Refer to my generation as entitled. We are anything but. 

A. Dahl