Hello again readers! Once again, ample amounts of time has passed since I last wrote. I guess that's my new norm.
One thing I didn't mention in my last blog is that while I was pregnant, Lucas and I decided that I would be a stay-at-home-mom. We did the math, and it turned out I would be working to pay for daycare. It didn't make much sense to go back to work just so someone else could watch my baby. Don't get me wrong, I loved my job, but the idea of leaving my baby didn't sound worth it. So I worked up until 10 days before she was born, and then that was it! I was no longer employed.
At first it was really surreal. The baby came and took most of my attention, but I kept having thoughts like, "ok just one more week, then back to work" or "I wonder if my boss will let me extend my time off" and even "she better start sleeping at night because I have to get up early for work". I would constantly have to remind myself I indeed was not going back to work. I suppose that's normal since I had been in the working world for eight years. It was really hard to fathom that my new job consisted of a 24/7 schedule with no time off, no benefits, and no paycheck. It also meant, though, that I didn't have to worry about hours or asking to have doctor's appointments off. I could schedule anything for McCartney at any time! I could stay up with McCartney and then get to snuggle and sleep in with her the next morning. It was really weird at first, but I got used to it.
With the joys of staying home, there are also the downsides. I think the hardest thing about being a stay-at-home mom is the lack of adult interactions. I'm sure you've heard that many times from other moms who stay home, but I really didn't think it would be as big of a deal as it is. It can be really challenging sometimes when the only other adult you see is your husband. Sometimes I feel bad for Lucas, because he'll come home and I'll just chat his ear off since I haven't had the chance to talk all day. I've tried a few times to talk to McCartney, you know, outside the normal baby babble, and it hasn't really caught on. Thus, I save all my thoughts during the day for a nice spout that Lucas gets to endure once he comes home. He's a really good sport though, and claims he's fine with it.
Another challenge with staying at home is that I often feel I am not contributing enough. This mainly comes from the fact that McCartney (my new boss) doesn't pay me in American currency. We have a snuggle and kisses deal worked out, so I can't complain too much. Anyway, it's a struggle for me to not be helping financially. When Lucas and I first moved to Las Vegas, my job was the breadwinner. He was going to school and working at school, and I was working, so the money I earned was what was helping us most. I guess there's a sense of pride in that. Then when he got his current job, and it became a team effort, I still felt the sense of pulling my own weight. I know that caring for a child is extremely challenging and is definitely helping our household, but there are times I have to remind myself it's ok I'm not bringing home a paycheck. I think this is another thing that time will have to help me get used to.
Now that I've made staying at home sound like a bummer, let me tell you the good things. I get to spend all day with my sweet McCartney. I was there for her first smile, her first giggle, the first time she rolled over, the first time she signed back to me, and all her other first milestones. I'm the one she wants when she's scared, nervous, happy, sad, excited, or really any emotion. I get to just hold her while she's sleeping and enjoy the silence and listen to her tiny little breaths going in and out. I get to spend every moment taking care of the sweet girl God gave me. I suppose I can trade adult interactions and money for that ;) In all seriousness though, staying home has been the greatest blessing to our family. I consider myself extremely lucky that Lucas and I were able to work out this arrangement.
Speaking of Lucas, I am so proud of him. He is an excellent father, an honor student (each and every semester!), and a valued employee (his bosses love him). I sometimes sit back and am amazed I landed such a wonderful husband. He takes time to make sure I feel appreciated and noticed. He always takes care of me when I forget to do so myself. He helps with McCartney when he can tell that we've had a "day". I'm so grateful for him and the wonderful man he is. I know always gush about him, but man, how could I not?!
Well, that is my sum-up of being a Stay at Home Mom. There's much more to it than what I've written of course, but my post is just mainly the big things that have stood out to me so far.
I'm happy to say I have another post pending!! I'm not sure when I'll post it, but probably before March :)
Thank you again for reading, your views always mean so much to me!
-Allison S. Dahl
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