Note to My Dad

 Hello readers! 

I have a running note on my phone that is a letter to my dad. I write one every so often. Well, today I want to share a small excerpt from the note I wrote him :) enjoy! 

Lucas brought up an interesting question the other day. He asked if I would have my tattoos if you were still alive. I kind of laughed, and then instinctively said no. Then we went about our day, but the question stuck with me. How would I feel about my tattoos, or the thought of them, if you were still here? I’ve thought a lot about it because I don’t actually know the answer. I think a big thing for me with my tattoos is that most of them represent a living creature that had/has a major impact on me. The one that represents you and mom is nice because you’re gone from this earth, so I see my forearm and in that moment think of you. I have a physical representation of you. And now that you’re gone, it’s comforting to see those flowers on me, still here. It won’t wash off, it won’t disappear. Everyday, the mason jar filled with wild flowers is there.. making me think of a moment in time that I’ll never get again. So far, that tattoo and my Stickchi tattoo are the only ones representing life that is no longer. I hope it stays that way for a long time. And my tattoo that is for me, a reminder to keep fighting the good fight, I feel like you’d approve of it. I guess that’s begs the question though, if you hadn’t died.. would I have that same need to etch art into my skin so those lost can feel close? My first tattoo was for Lucas, still here and still very close :) but it has been nice on nights we’re apart. I can just hug my left rib cage and think of him while I feel him too. Did your death teach me the fragility of life? And give me the knowledge that in a moment, everything can change? I do like that Lucas loves my tattoos, and loves the one for him. I wonder if you saw my tattoos, if your reaction would be similar to those in your age group. Kind of that awkward “cool, not sure what to say here..” vibe I’ve gotten. Or would you be ok with them? Would you ask questions about each one? And comment on the detail and beauty in them? All these questions I’d love to hear your answers. I guess it boils down to maybe. Maybe I wouldn’t have any of my tattoos if you were still alive, Dad. Maybe I would have more. Maybe I’d have half. All that matters is I love them, and I sure look forward to telling you about them someday. As per usual, I miss you. I love you Dad 🤟

07/31/25