A Little Bit of Allison: A Grudge too Heavy

Hey followers, readers, random people who stumbled across my ever growing blog...it's time for another post. Now, this one is new, meaning I've just come to this conclusion. (Most of my former posts have been ones I've debated on whether or not to share for a while...) This one my friends is something enlightening that I decided I wanted to share as soon as I discovered it. (That must mean it's good, right?)

Ok, so let's get a few things out in the open to preface this story. First off, I'm a natural redhead. That should tell you something from the get go. I'm not one to usually believe in stereotyping, but let me be the first to admit that any stereotype you may have incurred concerning redheads along your lifetime is (sadly) true. I have a short temper, I shy away from the sun because I burn easily, and boy am I hard to handle at times. (How my man of interest puts up with me, I'll never know.) On the flip side, my hair is quite beautiful when the sun hits it just right. I've never dyed my hair to change its natural color, and let me tell ya, the attention I get from my hair is quite nice when I'm having a bad day. Oh, and it is also true when they say "redheads have more fun". (Being that we only make up 2% of the world's population, I must say we better have "more" fun.)

Secondly, and obviously, I am a female. I am automatically programmed to over think situations, take offense easily, and want chocolate more than any other human made. Also on the flip side, I have the right to be respected, even if I didn't "earn" it. Being a woman, I have every right to voice my opinion and prove to do things just as well (or better than... ;) ) as a man. 

So, if you put those two things together, you get this math equation:

Man         Redhead

______*________                          =X%   

Woman     Any Other Hair Color

 Answer: So, you would cross multiply and find out that any other hair color * man cancels itself out on the crazy scale. So woman * redhead= 100%.

You could also do this algebraic equation where X represents woman and Y equals the dosage of crazy:

X(redhead+ any other hair color)=Y

Answer: Woman*redhead= Redheaded Woman...which equals Y

                Woman*any other hair color= Any other hair colored woman...which also equals Y

                 Then you have Redheaded Woman (RW) + Any other hair colored Woman (AW)=Y

So this gets tricky because you have to figure out how to add the female population together to figure out the dosage of crazy, which would cause division and comparison....which is precisely what leads into my blog....

Even though that math equation may seem silly (or extremely clever, you choose), the point remains the same. The equation of comparing women to each other based on their hair color would give you an incorrect value, and a number that does not exist. Ladies, this post is for you. (Gentlemen, by all means, keep reading if you choose).

I've seen blog posts, I've seen arguments, I've heard lies, and I've told them. I've gossiped about a best friend a time or two, and I've caught them doing it right back. I've looked at girls and found something wrong with them just to improve my own selfish "self esteem" that had a foundation made purely of sand. In a mathematic world, when comparing these girls to myself, I was only creating an impossible equation of my life that even Albert Einstein* would roll his eyes at. Within the first .53 seconds of looking at this equation, I'm sure good old Albert would chuckle and say, "Oh Allison, how silly. This equation could be simplified to a basic addition problem if you only change the variables."

*Side note- I wrote my senior thesis on Albert Einstein. 

It took me almost twenty two years (yep, I'm going to be 22 in less than 3 months!) to come to this conclusion. Ladies, let's show the guys how we aren't complicated. Let's take that grudge we've been holding against each other off and simplify our life equation to a basic addition problem. Here are the variables I pick for mine (you can pick your own):

a+b=c

Let a=you and b=me, and let c=be nice. That's it!!! How simple is that?! 

I held a grudge against a girl for a very long time because, given the same situation, we chose two very different paths. I let that grudge eat at me for almost an entire year. 365 days spent wasting away while I only hurt myself. Friends, I went up to her and her friends when I saw them at a restaurant and said hello. I asked how she was doing. I asked about the situation we shared and how she was holding up with the choice she had made. And that's when it hit me. All the hurtful things I had thought about her hadn't changed her life at all. She had moved on and made best of the situation she was in. I was the one who was pained. I was the one left in the dust because I was the one who chose to feel the anger against her. Saying hello and asking how her life was was so relieving and seriously lifted the grudge. Realizing that, although we may not agree with each other's choices, she was still a beautiful daughter of God made me see that she made the best choice for her, and I made the best choice for me. I could not simply compare us because that would lead to an endless equation of guilt and hatred with no right answer.

So girls, call that "best friend" you haven't spoken to in years because she wronged you. Tell her you're sorry, or not even that. Ask her how she is doing. You don't have to be sorry, and you don't have to change how you feel. Just see how she's doing, and see if she's doing well. I promise you this, no matter the grudge you bear for her, it will make you feel better. Even if the phone call lasts but just a minute.

Thank you for reading!!

-Allison Susanne De Arton