A Little Bit of Allison: Quality Time

So with all this talk of getting married and such, it has occurred to me that my top love language couldn't be more accurate. I used to think that test was a silly coincidence until I realized that it was actually quite spot on. My top love language that beat all the others was quality time. In Luke and I's relationship, we have spent more time than money, more hours talking than cuddling, and just more time than I have with anyone else. Maybe that's why I can't resist the man ;)

These past few weeks have shown me that time isn't just important to me in my romantic relationship, but in my friendships as well. Time is something I hold to a high standard. It's something I demand, give, and manage. Time is so crucial to me, and I've come to realize that we don't always have as much as we have let ourselves think we have.

So what brought this on? Well, I have a few close friends that I've kept in my life for years. We're all at different stages now, so we don't always have time to hang out or catch up. I've come to accept that, which is hard, but it's life. Well, I had one friend call the other night quite distraught over a family situation. I made the time to talk to her about it, even though I was pretty busy. This friend does the same for me, hence why we're still best friends. That same night, something happened at my house that was scary...so I called a different friend who has different time constraints than the other. It was late, so she didn't answer. I was ok with that and left a voicemail hoping for a response in the morning. The morning came and no response. So, I texted her and she explained why she hadn't gotten back to me. I was a little put off by the excuse, so I didn't text back. Here we are, a whole day later, and still no response to my frantic voicemail.

Ok, so I get that we're all busy. We have work, school, and other friends who occupy our time. I guess I just have a hard time understanding how I can make time for a friend in need as I'm putting my clothes back on from being in the hospital, but another friend can't make time because she's busy riding rides. It was quite saddening and hurt my feelings a bit, especially since I said what happened in the voicemail. I once had a manager tell me that the people we love the most are the ones who can hurt us the most. That has proven to be very true with this other friend.

I vent on my blog because that's the way I get things out. I probably should grow up and confront the girl, but I've given up on that. I've confronted her too many times, and other people have proven to stick around a little better than her right now, so I guess I'll have to let that friendship stay on hold. I value my time too much to continue to let her see it as inconvenient. I'll just be her friend when she wants me to be.

Our time is important. If you have someone you love, treat them like it. Make sure they know that you value their time, even if it's just a phone call.

Thanks for reading!

-Allison Susanne De Arton