P.O.C.A.

I don't think I'll ever understand why you got so angry.
Maybe it was just an excuse to be rid of me.
I'd tell you now, if only I could
That I missed you a very long time, and it did me no good.
I don't get why you never called or why you never said sorry.
I guess that part doesn't matter, and I shouldn't worry.
I really liked you, I hope that part you know.
But oh how that's long gone and over, although its leaving was sure slow.
I would say I miss you, but it's not you I miss.
I miss the idea of you, and having a good looking boy to kiss.
I'm sorry I never really got to say goodbye,
But that didn't matter, you still made me cry.
So hopefully this will be the last thought of you for a while,
Because I'm too busy trying to fine a boy that will make me smile.

-Allison S. De Arton

A Little Bit of Allison: The Past is Past

I haven't thought about a particular someone, to whom of which both poems this week are about, in quite a while. In fact, I hadn't thought of him in over a year. Until tonight of course. I don't know what sparked all the memories, but alas they came flooding in, and I found myself wishing to he back in those moments...for I feel I didn't enjoy them as much as I could have. I replay them in my head and wonder what I would give to relive that memory, and this time really breathe it in. Appreciate it for all it's worth.

This person and I were never really official, but boy did I love him. I met him the first day I moved to California and it took me months to get him out if my mind. When I moved home, it wasn't long before I started writing him his novel letter that I still keep hidden in a pocket in a folder stashed away. I think the letter is like 15 or 20 pages long. Anyways, obviously I really liked the kid.

As I thought about all this, I began to realize no matter how I wished or tortured myself with these memories, they'd never come to life. It's gone and over and there's nothing to be done, besides appreciate the fact I got the moments in the first place. I won't lie, I still miss the lad. Not as often as I used to of course, but enough to regret the way we ended. I don't remember why, I actually think I never knew why he ended it, but oh well. The past is past and it's over with. I will hold those memories close and cherish them when they decide to visit, but until then, accepting and moving on will have to do.

Thanks for reading!
-Allison

Week 14: Memory

Here I am, living in our memory.
Dreaming of the time when it was you and me.
I remember it as if it were yesterday,
Although now almost two years have passed away.
You were the boy who was no good for me.
You were the one that I had to sneak around to see.
I convinced myself then that I loved you so.
I told myself it didn't matter, so there was no need to say no.
I remember after I moved home, I dreamt of you every night.
And as I lay there, I cried, holding onto my pillow so tight.
I missed you for what felt like an eternity,
And even now I miss those nights you'd come and see me.
Do you remember when we talked about what we love?
How I like the stars, and you like making shapes of the clouds above.
Oh what a dream, what a lovely thing we shared,
But now I'm trapped in our memory, wondering if you ever truly cared.

-Allison S. De Arton

A Little Bit Of Allison: Lazy

So, as you may notice, I'm not doing a P.O.C.A. poem tonight. I guess you could call it lazy, but my creative juices just aren't flowing.

I don't even have a lot to say on this blog, well except for sorry about last week!! I didn't have my computer and didn't have the patience to deal with the 10+ year-old one my parents own.

Life has been slow yet crazy lately. I don't know how that works, but it has been. I'm just going along for now, hopefully something exciting will happen soon.

I'm sorry this is so short, but like I said, I must be drained or something! Until next time!

-Allison

Week 13: A Solemn Prayer

Oh, give me the strength to go forth with this life.

Give me the courage to continue through strife.

Please help me through the waters, so unforgiving they are,

Please guide me to calmer shores, whether near or far.

I do not wish to be  alone at this time,

I do wish for someone to be by my side.

Oh guide, Dear One, guide me to that place

Where I will know who he is, and see his face.

Don't leave me alone, in this, the darkest hour of mine.

Don't look away from my tears, or leave me to die.

I know I have gone astray and have done wrong,

But please forgive me and give me strength to go along.

This life is short, or so I've been told.

I guess I won't know until I've grown old,

But please, oh please, don't leave me to drown,

Please help me from this despair, don't let me fall down.

-Allison S. De Arton

P.O.C.A.

I wish I could tell my fate or destiny or whatever you call it
That I was done and I'm ready for a change.
I wish I could choose exactly what comes into my life at this moment,
And simply tell this Fate which target is in it's range.

I would tell fate to make it happen, and make it happen now.
I would say I'm ready and waiting.
Fate would have to listen, and put the pieces in somehow,
And make each action worth repeating.

I would have the map all drawn out
Of exactly how my life should be.
I would point fate in the direction, North or South,
And Fate would listen to me.

If I could tell my destiny where it should go,
Oh how happy I would feel
Just to blatantly know
That I was making my dreams real.

Well, I guess no matter how I wish,
Fate will do it's own thing.
I guess that's part of this life we live,
Oh Fate, be nice to me.

-Allison S. De Arton

Week 12: Food

I don't think I ever mentioned how much I love food.
It's probably the best thing ever, this much is true.
I like chips and salsa and sometimes dip.
I like cookies and brownies and ice cream with cool whip.

I love 4th of July and Thanksgiving because all you do is eat
And spend time with your family, but the food is a real treat.
I love making cookies or the best brownies you'll ever have.
I like making holiday goodies and drinks so delicious, it drives me mad.

I enjoy a good home cooked meal on a Sunday,
Sitting around with the family and eating it up is a good way
To start or end my week, whichever you prefer,
But I really hope that we still get some dessert.

I love food and my favorite would have to be
Chinese or Italian, those are the best for me.
I like orange chicken and fettucini alfredo,
They're what I always order, at each restaurant I go.

Speaking of food, it's about time for me to eat.
The dinner smells delectable, and with this meal, it'd be hard to compete.
So now that I've made myself most hungry indeed,
I'll go do what I do best, which is my hungry tummy to feed.

-Allison S. De Arton