It has come to my attention that I have more of an audience than I would have ever thought myself to have. For those of you who actually pay attention to particular posts on my blog, you'll notice that a few have been omitted. Now, I did not delete these posts because I was requested to by those that were offended by them. I don't delete anything because someone tells me to. I decided to delete a couple of posts because I wanted to let go of the toxic stories they shared.
If you don't know me well, you could assume I'm some crazy girl who likes to hide behind URLs and computer screens to send out my insults. And you would be correct. If you do know me well, you know that I vent through my blog and am usually over a situation after I've ranted about it. I've found that this often gets me in trouble and I should probably keep my ranting sessions limited to my journal where no one will read them.
For all those who have been offended by whatever I have posted, whether it be directly or indirectly offensive, I am sorry. Really, I am. I am usually a confident person, but when it comes to standing up for myself, I am just that petty girl hiding behind those URLs and computer screens.
A few months back, I found myself in a situation where I felt I couldn't have even my own back. I still don't recall why this situation arose, but for whatever reason, there were (and still are) a select few who didn't like my existence. I decided to post a blog about the situation and all but discretely talk about who it was and what happened. Well, that post is now deleted and I am going to do my best to forget about the situation and avoid whatever conflict I can.
The purpose of this post is to admit my defeat and move on from whatever conflict his blog has caused. I honestly used to think that no one would really take the time to read my posts, and so my venting was merely just a release. Well, I wish I was right.
Through these past few months I've learned that if you don't stand up for yourself, no one will. Don't ever assume anyone's allegiance belongs with you, and don't feel betrayed when people choose the more popular crowd over being your friend. Life will always happen, and even when you think it has settled down and things have moved on, chances are, something will come back up. The good thing I've learned is that one day everyone finds that one friend that is their companion for the rest of this life and the rest of forever. I am oh so very lucky to have mine, and I'm glad it's Lucas.
So, once again, if one of my tangents has offended you in one way or another, I am sorry. If you still want to hold it against me, that's your call, but no longer my problem. I can honestly say I don't have a grudge against anyone. Thank you to those who have supported me all along the way and have stayed my friend through the thick and thin. If you enjoyed reading my rants, I'm sorry, but my blog will no longer interest you. I'm still deciding what to post on here, but rants and tangents will not be among the selected.
-Allison Susanne De Arton
Friday, August 15, 2014
Sunday, July 27, 2014
A Little Bit of Allison: Little Bug
I don't think I can emphasize enough how much my life is changing, so that's why I keep mentioning it. It's crazy watching things fall in and out of place as Lucas and I take these steps together. I don't think I'll ever understand why some things have panned out the way they have, but such is life.
Today I would like to post about my dear, sweet Adelé. Time continues to pass, and she continues to grow. (She's walking now!) She has so much sass and attitude, it's pretty funny. I have no idea where she got that from ;)
One thing I have always missed about Adelé is being able to talk to her on a regular, frequent basis. I remember after the adoption and after a break up I went through, all I wanted to do was load her up in her carseat and drive around with her and tell her everything. I even drove around late some nights and pretended she was there, and rehearsed everything I would be saying to her if she were really in the car. I know babies can't always give responses, heck even toddlers can't, but just being able to talk to her about my life was something I always felt a large void of.
Now that I'm getting married in the temple, and to the man of my dreams, I want to tell Adelé about all the changes I've made in my life. Yeah, I still have my flaws. I still have a hard time biting my tongue and thinking before I post (haha, see what I did there?), and I still make mistakes, but I am oh so different than I was when I was pregnant with her.
I love that my bitter pregnancy didn't wear off on her. Instead, she inherited my sassy, bubbly, love-of-life perspective, and I can already see that in her.
If there were one thing I could tell my little Bug, I would tell her of the sacrifice I made to give her a better life. Not to make her feel bad, or to think I am a great person, but to make her see how much I really do love her. Sometimes I feel regret for replacing her with Lucas. I feel like I've abandoned her by letting go of her as my daughter. Then I am reminded that I didn't "let her go", and I didn't "replace" her. I have given her a chance to move on from a life that would bring her heartache. I have given myself a chance to let go of the memories of the dark nights and bitter mornings.
About a month or so ago, I actually contacted Adelé's birth father, Chris. He's engaged now and has most definitely moved on, as have I. I asked him what he would like me to tell her when she got older. His response was simple, that he didn't mind because I was the one who decided to keep it open. At first my heart broke to hear this. How could he still be so careless towards this beautiful girl I cherished in my heart? How could anyone be so cold? Then, after a few weeks, I realized he was right. It was my choice. I am the one who agreed to keep things open for Adelé, so I am the one who will have to step up to the plate and answer the questions when the time comes. Chris said from the very beginning, before she was even 8 weeks along, that he didn't want to be a part of this. And he had every right to feel that way. So, instead of retaliating and saying something defensive, I wished him the best. I really do want a good life for him, but I don't care to know anything of it.
Will all of that being said, I bring it up because I wanted, more than anything, to tell Adelé of my new discovery. I wanted to tell her that I don't hate Chris anymore, and I wanted to tell her all about what happened with us.
One day, when Adelé comes to me and asks to know the past, I won't tell her harsh words about her birth father. I won't tell her the pain I went through during a lonely pregnancy, and I won't mention the bitter times and feelings I had towards Chris. I will tell her the times we shared where we really were happy. I will tell her of the summer when I was lost. I will tell her how it took me two years to finally come to the realization that everything happened just the way it was supposed to. I wish I could tell her that now, but she wouldn't quite understand what I was saying. What I do love about my relationship with Adelé is that I know she knows who I am. She is aware that there is a bond between us that you can't put words to. In the quiet moments where we are spending time together, she will smile and look me in the eye, and it's for that brief moment that I know she loves me and knows who I am. I know one day she may struggle with understanding. One day she may ask so many questions and she may not feel my love for her. But I also know that that same day I will have answers. I won't shrug my shoulders. I won't shut her out. I will tell her everything, and I will not omit a single detail.
I still love and miss Little Bug dearly, but I know that as time goes on, so will life, and it won't always be hard. I know happier times are awaiting (38 days!) and I know Heavenly Father will keep me in mind since I have done what He wanted.
Thank you for reading!
-Allison Susanne De Arton
Today I would like to post about my dear, sweet Adelé. Time continues to pass, and she continues to grow. (She's walking now!) She has so much sass and attitude, it's pretty funny. I have no idea where she got that from ;)
One thing I have always missed about Adelé is being able to talk to her on a regular, frequent basis. I remember after the adoption and after a break up I went through, all I wanted to do was load her up in her carseat and drive around with her and tell her everything. I even drove around late some nights and pretended she was there, and rehearsed everything I would be saying to her if she were really in the car. I know babies can't always give responses, heck even toddlers can't, but just being able to talk to her about my life was something I always felt a large void of.
Now that I'm getting married in the temple, and to the man of my dreams, I want to tell Adelé about all the changes I've made in my life. Yeah, I still have my flaws. I still have a hard time biting my tongue and thinking before I post (haha, see what I did there?), and I still make mistakes, but I am oh so different than I was when I was pregnant with her.
I love that my bitter pregnancy didn't wear off on her. Instead, she inherited my sassy, bubbly, love-of-life perspective, and I can already see that in her.
If there were one thing I could tell my little Bug, I would tell her of the sacrifice I made to give her a better life. Not to make her feel bad, or to think I am a great person, but to make her see how much I really do love her. Sometimes I feel regret for replacing her with Lucas. I feel like I've abandoned her by letting go of her as my daughter. Then I am reminded that I didn't "let her go", and I didn't "replace" her. I have given her a chance to move on from a life that would bring her heartache. I have given myself a chance to let go of the memories of the dark nights and bitter mornings.
About a month or so ago, I actually contacted Adelé's birth father, Chris. He's engaged now and has most definitely moved on, as have I. I asked him what he would like me to tell her when she got older. His response was simple, that he didn't mind because I was the one who decided to keep it open. At first my heart broke to hear this. How could he still be so careless towards this beautiful girl I cherished in my heart? How could anyone be so cold? Then, after a few weeks, I realized he was right. It was my choice. I am the one who agreed to keep things open for Adelé, so I am the one who will have to step up to the plate and answer the questions when the time comes. Chris said from the very beginning, before she was even 8 weeks along, that he didn't want to be a part of this. And he had every right to feel that way. So, instead of retaliating and saying something defensive, I wished him the best. I really do want a good life for him, but I don't care to know anything of it.
Will all of that being said, I bring it up because I wanted, more than anything, to tell Adelé of my new discovery. I wanted to tell her that I don't hate Chris anymore, and I wanted to tell her all about what happened with us.
One day, when Adelé comes to me and asks to know the past, I won't tell her harsh words about her birth father. I won't tell her the pain I went through during a lonely pregnancy, and I won't mention the bitter times and feelings I had towards Chris. I will tell her the times we shared where we really were happy. I will tell her of the summer when I was lost. I will tell her how it took me two years to finally come to the realization that everything happened just the way it was supposed to. I wish I could tell her that now, but she wouldn't quite understand what I was saying. What I do love about my relationship with Adelé is that I know she knows who I am. She is aware that there is a bond between us that you can't put words to. In the quiet moments where we are spending time together, she will smile and look me in the eye, and it's for that brief moment that I know she loves me and knows who I am. I know one day she may struggle with understanding. One day she may ask so many questions and she may not feel my love for her. But I also know that that same day I will have answers. I won't shrug my shoulders. I won't shut her out. I will tell her everything, and I will not omit a single detail.
I still love and miss Little Bug dearly, but I know that as time goes on, so will life, and it won't always be hard. I know happier times are awaiting (38 days!) and I know Heavenly Father will keep me in mind since I have done what He wanted.
Thank you for reading!
-Allison Susanne De Arton
Monday, July 21, 2014
A Little Bit of Allison: I Guess it's That Time
Time is moving quickly, only a month and a half until the wedding! Yikes! I feel like there's so much to do, yet pretty much everything is already done. I'm so thrilled to not have to say goodnight anymore...that's probably what I'm looking forward to most. Oh and making Luke breakfast while he's still sleeping. I'll bet this new domesticated version of myself will only last a few months. Who's ready to place bets ;)
Ok, so being engaged has been awesome. I love planning out my eternity with my best friend. One thing that engagement does is it gives you a wake up call...everyday. Each minute that ticks by brings me closer to starting my life with my eternal companion, which brings us closer to realizing life is changing.
I've been single for 21 years according to Social Security. Yeah I've had boyfriends and serious relationships, but I've never been engaged. I've never said yes to a man asking me to be his wife until June 3rd. Now that Lucas put a ring on it, I need to do some serious re-evaluating on my life! For a long time I honestly thought I'd die single. I had it all planned out: I was going to move to Germany, buy 20 cats, and live happily being the American girl down the street with multiplying cats. That was fine with me. Yeah, I didn't really want that, but I was convinced my past had given me that future. Well. Lucas had other plans.
If you've read my blog, you've read our story. One detail I left out is how quickly I fell in love with Luke. Something was different about hanging out with him. Other boys I have been with have been nice and fun, but I always knew the moments would end. I would always tell them to wish to 'make this moment last forever' because deep down I knew none of them would last. With Luke, I didn't have that worry. I didn't waste my time wishing for it to last forever, because I knew it would. Saying goodnight is more of an annoyance instead of a tragedy. It's so comforting to know Lucas is mine forever, and not having to wish for it.
With all of that, there also comes a price to pay. I didn't really understand this until now, but being single and being engaged/married are two very different life styles. My friends are about 50/50. Half are married, and the other half are single. Here I am in between and in awe at how different the two are. I promised myself that I would still keep my friendships with my single friends because I know the feeling of being bailed on. It's a hard promise to keep. When I'm with Lucas, he's all I want to think about. When I'm not with him, he's all I want to think about. Trying to fit in anything else in my brain is next to impossible. It's sad because I expect people to make time for me, and I usually am pretty good at making time for them, but all I really want is to be with Lucas.
I didn't notice there was much of a problem until I recently noticed that I've stolen Lucas from his previous life. He doesn't hang out with his friends anymore, he doesn't go to lunch with them, and he sees his family when I'm working or we are there together. At first, I was really bothered by this. I felt like I was taking over Lucas's life by consuming all of his free time. I felt like that crazy fiancé that all of his friends hate because I don't want him talking to his exes, or even to the girls that hurt him. I felt like I was burning bridges for him, all the while he was watching them burn. I honestly didn't like myself for that. When Luke and I first started dating, I let him go to lunch with other girls that were close to him. I wanted him to hang out with his high school chums, and I wanted to have things stay that way. As we grew closer and more serious, I realized things couldn't stay that way. I stopped talking to guys that I was friends with, and he stopped talking to the girls he was friends with. It had nothing to do with whether or not we liked them, it had everything to do with the fact we found it less intriguing. We still love our friends dearly and want to remain friends with them, we just hang out with each other more right now...and I suppose that's ok.
I'm still struggling with the concept of making Lucas my other half. It's hard to let someone in that much and count on them to pick up where I lack. Yeah the idea of marriage and engagement is rainbows and butterflies, but the reality is so much more than that. It's a lot of work to let someone become your better half. I wouldn't pick anyone else to do this challenge with, and I'm so happy he picked me too.
As far as our friends go, I'm still trying to learn the balance. Honestly I'm a social person, so I love having new friends and keeping the ones I've already made. I guess the real lesson is learning that what Lucas wants is most important to me, and I will always do that first. Then I can fit everyone else in. It sounds simple, but it's not. The bonus part is, though, I have eternity to figure out how to do it right.
-Allison Susanne De Arton
Sunday, July 13, 2014
A Little Bit of Allison: Quality Time
So with all this talk of getting married and such, it has occurred to me that my top love language couldn't be more accurate. I used to think that test was a silly coincidence until I realized that it was actually quite spot on. My top love language that beat all the others was quality time. In Luke and I's relationship, we have spent more time than money, more hours talking than cuddling, and just more time than I have with anyone else. Maybe that's why I can't resist the man ;)
These past few weeks have shown me that time isn't just important to me in my romantic relationship, but in my friendships as well. Time is something I hold to a high standard. It's something I demand, give, and manage. Time is so crucial to me, and I've come to realize that we don't always have as much as we have let ourselves think we have.
So what brought this on? Well, I have a few close friends that I've kept in my life for years. We're all at different stages now, so we don't always have time to hang out or catch up. I've come to accept that, which is hard, but it's life. Well, I had one friend call the other night quite distraught over a family situation. I made the time to talk to her about it, even though I was pretty busy. This friend does the same for me, hence why we're still best friends. That same night, something happened at my house that was scary...so I called a different friend who has different time constraints than the other. It was late, so she didn't answer. I was ok with that and left a voicemail hoping for a response in the morning. The morning came and no response. So, I texted her and she explained why she hadn't gotten back to me. I was a little put off by the excuse, so I didn't text back. Here we are, a whole day later, and still no response to my frantic voicemail.
Ok, so I get that we're all busy. We have work, school, and other friends who occupy our time. I guess I just have a hard time understanding how I can make time for a friend in need as I'm putting my clothes back on from being in the hospital, but another friend can't make time because she's busy riding rides. It was quite saddening and hurt my feelings a bit, especially since I said what happened in the voicemail. I once had a manager tell me that the people we love the most are the ones who can hurt us the most. That has proven to be very true with this other friend.
I vent on my blog because that's the way I get things out. I probably should grow up and confront the girl, but I've given up on that. I've confronted her too many times, and other people have proven to stick around a little better than her right now, so I guess I'll have to let that friendship stay on hold. I value my time too much to continue to let her see it as inconvenient. I'll just be her friend when she wants me to be.
Our time is important. If you have someone you love, treat them like it. Make sure they know that you value their time, even if it's just a phone call.
Thanks for reading!
-Allison Susanne De Arton
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
A Little Bit of Allison: Positive Post
Ok, so I feel like the last...ten...posts have been some sort of rant. I should post something nice, so here it is.
I have so many great people in my life, so I suppose this is a tribute to them. Are you ready? Bring on the cheese!!
Where to start...? Hm, we'll start with Erin. So she was my neighbor when we first moved back to Idaho. She now lives elsewhere, but we have remained close. What I love about Erin is that her and I will spend months apart, and weeks without contact, but when we talk again, it's like nothing has changed. She has seen me through my crazy high school years, my broken hearted nights, and most importantly: my pregnancy. She never gave up on me, even when I had given up on me. She held me the nights I couldn't take it by myself. Even after Adelé was born, Erin helped me through the nights where I missed my darling daughter beyond management. Erin is like the ideal best friend. She calls me out when I'm acting dumb, then holds my hand while I suffer the consequences. Yeah, we've had our miffs, but I know she's my best friend because even when I was mad at her, she was the one I wanted to talk to about it...no one else. I think the hardest (and only hard thing) about being with Lucas is that I had to realize he needed to become my best friend in a different way than Erin had been. It's been a struggle to separate the two, but Erin has been so supportive and the best person for me during this transition from single life to almost married life. I know after I'm married Erin and I's relationship will shift, but knowing her, she will shift right along with it and be in the ER when I'm having my first baby (in like...5 years ;) ). I do love Erin like a sister, and she will forever be my dearest lady friend. Love you girl :)
Ok, next up, Mrs. Christine Wilkins. Oh buddy, should I begin with the first "Wellll....." or the last sob session? Haha Christine is like that rock that you keep hitting, even after the ocean has swept you miles away. Christine has always been that solid foundation for me in a spiritual sense. She never strayed from the church and she always let me know when what I was doing was lame. She saw my mistakes as things that needed to be overcome, and I think she took notes on what NOT to do ;). Christine got married on V-Day, and that was a super hard day for me. Yeah, I was single and pregnant, but I had to let my bestie forever-estie go. She was stepping up her game in the married life, and I had to take front row seats. Scott is awesome and I'm so glad they ended up together. They just fit each other so well. Oh hey, just like Lucas and I! Fancy that ;) really though, Scott and Christine have been great support systems and I love that Chris Web/Wilk like another sister. She saved me through HS. Oh buddy did she ever. :3 Love you guuurrrl! :)
Alright, The Balls. Haha their name just sums it all up. Aly is so awesome guys, like seriously. She's like the version of me I want to be in 2 years. We are so similar it's crazy. We have the same name too! She just spells it wrong ;) And Jordan, oh man. That kid is hilarious, and Lucas really likes him...so I see a ton of game nights in our near future. Aly gets me on a whole level I don't think even I understand. When I need to vent, she vents with me. I love that. She understands my angst like no one else. Oh Aly, you rock :)
Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. Or should I say TAY TAY!! Wanna go out with Rae Rae and Bren Bren? Haha! Taylor made it possible for me to get through the Dental Assisting program, like seriously. I remember all the angst us girls went through, and Taylor cooled me down multiple times. Plus, our trip to Utah was a real bonding time. We have had many talks that were beneficial to me in more ways than one. Love that sassy girl.
Alright, last but NOT least, my Bear. (You saw this coming, right?) Oh man, Lucas is my anchor. He is so amazing and is really a miracle in my life. Never would I have imagined someone as great as him. He is so honest and loyal and charming...and...and...oh the list goes on forever. He settles me down, and speeds me up. He's everything I need that I thought I could live without. He's what makes me happy when I'm sad, what pulls me close when I want to fly away, and the support when I can't stand on my own. He helped me see the Heavenly Father really is aware of us, and is a loving God who wants the best, even if we have to learn the hard way. I love Lucas Clark, and can't wait to marry him in less than 2 months (eep!!). Love you Bear.
Alright, there are more friends like the Egan family (Holly, Robyn, Lauralynn...), Curtis, Derek, The OG crew, several Rosewood Ward members, and even Salt Lake friends (Jelena) that I could write about, but Bear just got here...and he's hungry ;) love you all!!
-Allison Susanne De Arton
2014
I have so many great people in my life, so I suppose this is a tribute to them. Are you ready? Bring on the cheese!!
Where to start...? Hm, we'll start with Erin. So she was my neighbor when we first moved back to Idaho. She now lives elsewhere, but we have remained close. What I love about Erin is that her and I will spend months apart, and weeks without contact, but when we talk again, it's like nothing has changed. She has seen me through my crazy high school years, my broken hearted nights, and most importantly: my pregnancy. She never gave up on me, even when I had given up on me. She held me the nights I couldn't take it by myself. Even after Adelé was born, Erin helped me through the nights where I missed my darling daughter beyond management. Erin is like the ideal best friend. She calls me out when I'm acting dumb, then holds my hand while I suffer the consequences. Yeah, we've had our miffs, but I know she's my best friend because even when I was mad at her, she was the one I wanted to talk to about it...no one else. I think the hardest (and only hard thing) about being with Lucas is that I had to realize he needed to become my best friend in a different way than Erin had been. It's been a struggle to separate the two, but Erin has been so supportive and the best person for me during this transition from single life to almost married life. I know after I'm married Erin and I's relationship will shift, but knowing her, she will shift right along with it and be in the ER when I'm having my first baby (in like...5 years ;) ). I do love Erin like a sister, and she will forever be my dearest lady friend. Love you girl :)
Ok, next up, Mrs. Christine Wilkins. Oh buddy, should I begin with the first "Wellll....." or the last sob session? Haha Christine is like that rock that you keep hitting, even after the ocean has swept you miles away. Christine has always been that solid foundation for me in a spiritual sense. She never strayed from the church and she always let me know when what I was doing was lame. She saw my mistakes as things that needed to be overcome, and I think she took notes on what NOT to do ;). Christine got married on V-Day, and that was a super hard day for me. Yeah, I was single and pregnant, but I had to let my bestie forever-estie go. She was stepping up her game in the married life, and I had to take front row seats. Scott is awesome and I'm so glad they ended up together. They just fit each other so well. Oh hey, just like Lucas and I! Fancy that ;) really though, Scott and Christine have been great support systems and I love that Chris Web/Wilk like another sister. She saved me through HS. Oh buddy did she ever. :3 Love you guuurrrl! :)
Alright, The Balls. Haha their name just sums it all up. Aly is so awesome guys, like seriously. She's like the version of me I want to be in 2 years. We are so similar it's crazy. We have the same name too! She just spells it wrong ;) And Jordan, oh man. That kid is hilarious, and Lucas really likes him...so I see a ton of game nights in our near future. Aly gets me on a whole level I don't think even I understand. When I need to vent, she vents with me. I love that. She understands my angst like no one else. Oh Aly, you rock :)
Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. Or should I say TAY TAY!! Wanna go out with Rae Rae and Bren Bren? Haha! Taylor made it possible for me to get through the Dental Assisting program, like seriously. I remember all the angst us girls went through, and Taylor cooled me down multiple times. Plus, our trip to Utah was a real bonding time. We have had many talks that were beneficial to me in more ways than one. Love that sassy girl.
Alright, last but NOT least, my Bear. (You saw this coming, right?) Oh man, Lucas is my anchor. He is so amazing and is really a miracle in my life. Never would I have imagined someone as great as him. He is so honest and loyal and charming...and...and...oh the list goes on forever. He settles me down, and speeds me up. He's everything I need that I thought I could live without. He's what makes me happy when I'm sad, what pulls me close when I want to fly away, and the support when I can't stand on my own. He helped me see the Heavenly Father really is aware of us, and is a loving God who wants the best, even if we have to learn the hard way. I love Lucas Clark, and can't wait to marry him in less than 2 months (eep!!). Love you Bear.
Alright, there are more friends like the Egan family (Holly, Robyn, Lauralynn...), Curtis, Derek, The OG crew, several Rosewood Ward members, and even Salt Lake friends (Jelena) that I could write about, but Bear just got here...and he's hungry ;) love you all!!
-Allison Susanne De Arton
2014
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Controversy #3
Warning: This blog post contains sensitive subjects and topics that may be offensive to some people. I declare this as my own opinion and it does not reflect those of anyone else. In my twenty one years of living, these are some conclusions I have come to. Once again, it does not reflect any opinion of anyone else, including the religious group I belong to. If you find offense to what I say, be angry with me. No one else.
Alright, so this is a rant I've been holding in for a while, so let me warn you, it might be kind of long.
I don't have three specific topics this time like I usually do. I just have two things I want to rage about, and then we'll call it good. Shall we begin?
Religion
Ok, I'm sick of this one. Let me tell you a story. I have a best friend and she is awesome. So I have made several other friends who are not in the same religious group as I. I am a firm believer that it is OK to believe something other than what I believe. I've tried to force my religion on others before and have learned that it gets both parties no where. So this best friend of mine was struggling a few weeks ago. I was concerned, so I (mistakenly) shared my concern with some friends of a different religion. My intent was NOT to gossip, NOT to try and 'save' her, but merely to express my concern with people I trusted. Well. Big mistake. This 'trusted' friend went to her and preached harshly against our religious group and tried to convince my friend that Mormonism is wrong in every way possible. Ok, slow down here. How is that ok?
I know that the LDS church has claimed we are the only religion with the complete truth. I believe that, but I also believe that putting other religions down to make yours look better is the farthest thing from what God wants us to do. If you actually listen to some of the LDS conference talks, you'll find that our leaders have straight up said we do not hate any other religion. Look it up, it's there.
Fun fact about Prop 8: The Catholic church actually donated more money to that campaign than the LDS church. Bet ya didn't know that one.
So what's my point? Well, that story I told you made me realize something: We can't get along if we all think the other is wrong. I was in the wrong for sharing my best friend's life issues with someone else. I'm not going to say where they went wrong because that's already been made clear, but also I can be in the wrong for putting them down. They did what they felt was right. But here's why I get so upset: I wrote my OG post and received a lengthy response that I didn't post. Yeah, it basically was calling me a hypocrite and telling me to look up bible verses because I was stirring up contention so Satan actually loved my post. Fair enough, I could've handled my rant better. But here's the issue: If you want to bible bash with me, let's do it. Pull every verse, every book you want and I can give you an answer. I've read through the Catholic bible, I've gone to Baptist Youth Conferences, I've had Lutheran friends, I've studied the history of all religions. Yeah, Joseph Smith didn't come around until the 1830s and yeah, Mormonism wasn't around when the country was founded. But guess what? I don't care. Have you, anonymous commenter who called me out on my flaws, read the entire Book of Mormon? No? Ok, well, when you read it cover to cover, and still have some questions, we can talk. Not until then will I waste my time reading your unpublished comments.
Adoption
This one will be short, but it saddens me that it has come to this. LDS Family Services has announced they no longer provide adoption services. I am not quite sure how to put words to how I feel, but I'm sad. This only means one thing: we need to stick together. Like I've said, placing a baby isn't for everyone, and keeping a baby isn't for everyone. Let us all support the single and pregnant women in our lives to help them make the best decision for their babies. I rest my case.
-Allison Susanne De Arton
Alright, so this is a rant I've been holding in for a while, so let me warn you, it might be kind of long.
I don't have three specific topics this time like I usually do. I just have two things I want to rage about, and then we'll call it good. Shall we begin?
Religion
Ok, I'm sick of this one. Let me tell you a story. I have a best friend and she is awesome. So I have made several other friends who are not in the same religious group as I. I am a firm believer that it is OK to believe something other than what I believe. I've tried to force my religion on others before and have learned that it gets both parties no where. So this best friend of mine was struggling a few weeks ago. I was concerned, so I (mistakenly) shared my concern with some friends of a different religion. My intent was NOT to gossip, NOT to try and 'save' her, but merely to express my concern with people I trusted. Well. Big mistake. This 'trusted' friend went to her and preached harshly against our religious group and tried to convince my friend that Mormonism is wrong in every way possible. Ok, slow down here. How is that ok?
I know that the LDS church has claimed we are the only religion with the complete truth. I believe that, but I also believe that putting other religions down to make yours look better is the farthest thing from what God wants us to do. If you actually listen to some of the LDS conference talks, you'll find that our leaders have straight up said we do not hate any other religion. Look it up, it's there.
Fun fact about Prop 8: The Catholic church actually donated more money to that campaign than the LDS church. Bet ya didn't know that one.
So what's my point? Well, that story I told you made me realize something: We can't get along if we all think the other is wrong. I was in the wrong for sharing my best friend's life issues with someone else. I'm not going to say where they went wrong because that's already been made clear, but also I can be in the wrong for putting them down. They did what they felt was right. But here's why I get so upset: I wrote my OG post and received a lengthy response that I didn't post. Yeah, it basically was calling me a hypocrite and telling me to look up bible verses because I was stirring up contention so Satan actually loved my post. Fair enough, I could've handled my rant better. But here's the issue: If you want to bible bash with me, let's do it. Pull every verse, every book you want and I can give you an answer. I've read through the Catholic bible, I've gone to Baptist Youth Conferences, I've had Lutheran friends, I've studied the history of all religions. Yeah, Joseph Smith didn't come around until the 1830s and yeah, Mormonism wasn't around when the country was founded. But guess what? I don't care. Have you, anonymous commenter who called me out on my flaws, read the entire Book of Mormon? No? Ok, well, when you read it cover to cover, and still have some questions, we can talk. Not until then will I waste my time reading your unpublished comments.
Adoption
This one will be short, but it saddens me that it has come to this. LDS Family Services has announced they no longer provide adoption services. I am not quite sure how to put words to how I feel, but I'm sad. This only means one thing: we need to stick together. Like I've said, placing a baby isn't for everyone, and keeping a baby isn't for everyone. Let us all support the single and pregnant women in our lives to help them make the best decision for their babies. I rest my case.
-Allison Susanne De Arton
Monday, June 30, 2014
A Little Bit of Allison: Decisions, Decisions...
Man, it's been a crazy couple of weeks. I am still very appreciative of all those who still read my blog even after all my little tangents. Even I get sick of myself sometimes, so really, thank you for hanging on to that URL of mine.
With all the wedding plans and other things going on, I find myself in a conundrum. I received an email today from Google saying they would like to help me advertise myself. So here's the problem: should I focus on all that publishing stuff after I get married, or try to do it now? I think I've already made my decision, but I would love some feedback!!
I have another Controversy post coming, stay tuned!! :)
-Allison Susanne De Arton
With all the wedding plans and other things going on, I find myself in a conundrum. I received an email today from Google saying they would like to help me advertise myself. So here's the problem: should I focus on all that publishing stuff after I get married, or try to do it now? I think I've already made my decision, but I would love some feedback!!
I have another Controversy post coming, stay tuned!! :)
-Allison Susanne De Arton
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
A Little Bit of Allison: Feelings of Inadequacy
So, lately my life hasn't been the easiest. I've had all sorts of issues with work, stress, and (most of all) feelings of inadequacy. I can handle work and stress, but the worst thing is these thoughts of "I'm not good enough for Lucas" entering my head like they're welcome. Well, those thoughts are NOT welcome and I am not a fan of them.
Tonight Lucas and I discussed heavy matters like we sometimes do. I explained to him how I felt inadequate and unworthy of his time. He told me that some of his friends felt the same way. Now, if you know Lucas, you know he is too kind to tell me names. I guess I'll always be wondering which of his friends thinks he's marrying down. Anyway, Lucas said to me that he doesn't feel that way at all. In fact, he thinks he lucked out by getting me. He doesn't care one bit about my past, and he doesn't care about the details. He said he's happy that it got me to where I am, and he's more concerned with how my current issues are burdening me.
After this uplifting conversation, I sent Lucas home with a kiss like usual. As he drove away, this post came to mind. How many of us girls feel inadequate because of our pasts? How many of us humans feel like we deserve less than we really do? Well, I would hate to know the number of how many because I firmly believe that we ALL deserve the best. We all deserve to marry someone out of our league, and we ALL deserve the best for us.
To all those who think Lucas is marrying down: You're right in your own eyes, but to Lucas, you couldn't be more wrong. And quite frankly, Lucas has the only opinion I actually care about. So thank you for your concern, but no thanks on hearing more of it.
To all those who feel they fell short of the worthy line: You're wrong. You are a fantastic soul.
-Allison Susanne De Arton
Tonight Lucas and I discussed heavy matters like we sometimes do. I explained to him how I felt inadequate and unworthy of his time. He told me that some of his friends felt the same way. Now, if you know Lucas, you know he is too kind to tell me names. I guess I'll always be wondering which of his friends thinks he's marrying down. Anyway, Lucas said to me that he doesn't feel that way at all. In fact, he thinks he lucked out by getting me. He doesn't care one bit about my past, and he doesn't care about the details. He said he's happy that it got me to where I am, and he's more concerned with how my current issues are burdening me.
After this uplifting conversation, I sent Lucas home with a kiss like usual. As he drove away, this post came to mind. How many of us girls feel inadequate because of our pasts? How many of us humans feel like we deserve less than we really do? Well, I would hate to know the number of how many because I firmly believe that we ALL deserve the best. We all deserve to marry someone out of our league, and we ALL deserve the best for us.
To all those who think Lucas is marrying down: You're right in your own eyes, but to Lucas, you couldn't be more wrong. And quite frankly, Lucas has the only opinion I actually care about. So thank you for your concern, but no thanks on hearing more of it.
To all those who feel they fell short of the worthy line: You're wrong. You are a fantastic soul.
-Allison Susanne De Arton
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
And When It Got Harder...
So, I will now just post random entries from my pending book. Here we go.
"Allison was stuck between what she had been comfortable with and what she had to move on to. There had been so many times that Allison would burn bridges just to get away from the toxic people in that current situation. Allison was sick of this bad habit. She wanted something more, something different.
As Allison sat and pondered what she would do, she thought of a friend. Donal, to be exact, and how he had listened to her blow up the first time someone had made her mad. She laughed at the memory because Donald was trying not to laugh at her. She was so angry, and this was a side Donald had never seen in Allison before. Allison supposed that this particular situation was the first 'bonding' moment her and Donald had. The following months would prove that this 'bonding' was crucial.
Allison took a deep breath and gazed into the dancing stream. The water hurried around the stones like it was trying oh so quickly to reach a destination. For a moment, Allison almost wish she were one of the stones. Oh how lovely it would be to just be moved around instead of pushed along. Then something occurred to Ms. Allison. The stone was not simple at all, for it had been moved around for years.
"I suppose..." Allison thought, "...this stone used to be sharp. The edges must have been tattered and razor-like." Allison's brow furrowed as she moved closer to the stream, peering in at the one stone. "This stone has its own story, and I'll bet you it is not a simple one."
With satisfaction in her own mind, Allison sat up straight again to look at the clouds above. She wondered about the three toxic people who had forced her to leave the Garden. She came to the conclusion that they, like these stones, had their own stories. There was a reason the one gal had destroyed a home. There was a reason the other one would never leave the other's side. And lastly, there was not a simple reason that the three were always fighting for each other, even when they themselves were wrong.
Allison sighed as she realized she could not get out of her own head. Why did these conclusions and findings have to come when she was trying to leave the situation completely?
Allison arose and continued her walk. If she would have these epiphanies while sitting on a short break, who knows what ones were coming."
-Allison Susanne De Arton, from Allison Wonderland: Welcome to My Mystery
2014, all rights reserved
"Allison was stuck between what she had been comfortable with and what she had to move on to. There had been so many times that Allison would burn bridges just to get away from the toxic people in that current situation. Allison was sick of this bad habit. She wanted something more, something different.
As Allison sat and pondered what she would do, she thought of a friend. Donal, to be exact, and how he had listened to her blow up the first time someone had made her mad. She laughed at the memory because Donald was trying not to laugh at her. She was so angry, and this was a side Donald had never seen in Allison before. Allison supposed that this particular situation was the first 'bonding' moment her and Donald had. The following months would prove that this 'bonding' was crucial.
Allison took a deep breath and gazed into the dancing stream. The water hurried around the stones like it was trying oh so quickly to reach a destination. For a moment, Allison almost wish she were one of the stones. Oh how lovely it would be to just be moved around instead of pushed along. Then something occurred to Ms. Allison. The stone was not simple at all, for it had been moved around for years.
"I suppose..." Allison thought, "...this stone used to be sharp. The edges must have been tattered and razor-like." Allison's brow furrowed as she moved closer to the stream, peering in at the one stone. "This stone has its own story, and I'll bet you it is not a simple one."
With satisfaction in her own mind, Allison sat up straight again to look at the clouds above. She wondered about the three toxic people who had forced her to leave the Garden. She came to the conclusion that they, like these stones, had their own stories. There was a reason the one gal had destroyed a home. There was a reason the other one would never leave the other's side. And lastly, there was not a simple reason that the three were always fighting for each other, even when they themselves were wrong.
Allison sighed as she realized she could not get out of her own head. Why did these conclusions and findings have to come when she was trying to leave the situation completely?
Allison arose and continued her walk. If she would have these epiphanies while sitting on a short break, who knows what ones were coming."
-Allison Susanne De Arton, from Allison Wonderland: Welcome to My Mystery
2014, all rights reserved
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Controversy #2
Warning: This blog post contains sensitive subjects and topics that may be offensive to some people. I declare this as my own opinion and it does not reflect those of anyone else. In my twenty one years of living, these are some conclusions I have come to. Once again, it does not reflect any opinion of anyone else, including the religious group I belong to. If you find offense to what I say, be angry with me. No one else.
Time
Alright, let's learn how to make the best of 5 minutes. You wanna use my time to talk, wait 'til I'm off the clock. Work Allison, Play Allison--> two VERY different people.
Politics -
Ugh, I'm sick of this one. Let's call me the Liberal Latter Day Saint. Liberal=love. Latter Day Saint=perfect gospel given to imperfect humans. Let us not forget President Uchtdorf's saying: "We're not perfect, so give us a break when we mess up..." Something like that. So Politics-Mitt Romney. Knock it off with this crap of hating the Government. Come on.
Calling all Ladies:
Let us watch Mean Girls (2005) with Tina Fey. KNOCK IT OFF.
I rest my case.
Allison Susanne Wonderland, Welcome to My Mystery
COPYRIGHT pending, no copiers, all rights reserved, 2014
Time
Alright, let's learn how to make the best of 5 minutes. You wanna use my time to talk, wait 'til I'm off the clock. Work Allison, Play Allison--> two VERY different people.
Politics -
Ugh, I'm sick of this one. Let's call me the Liberal Latter Day Saint. Liberal=love. Latter Day Saint=perfect gospel given to imperfect humans. Let us not forget President Uchtdorf's saying: "We're not perfect, so give us a break when we mess up..." Something like that. So Politics-Mitt Romney. Knock it off with this crap of hating the Government. Come on.
Gossip
Calling all Ladies:
Let us watch Mean Girls (2005) with Tina Fey. KNOCK IT OFF.
I rest my case.
Allison Susanne Wonderland, Welcome to My Mystery
COPYRIGHT pending, no copiers, all rights reserved, 2014
A LOT of Allison: ...The Fox and The Bear, part 2
Alright alright. After being pestered by several work friends (OG, you know who you are ;) ), it's time for the proposal. Let's begin with a picture, so 1,000 words down.
The pics
Ok, so it began as a usual night. Dinner with the Dahl's (delicious steak fajitas) and then off to a hike at Cress Creek (15 minutes from his house). So, if you're LDS, you know that Tuesday=Mutual. Oh brother. Those darn kids were running around like someone sprayed them with catnip. Yeesh.
*SIDE NOTE: I picked up Ziggy earlier that day in Lucas's neighborhood. Baha. Two Rigby boys stole my heart. AND they're KEEPING it. Yikes ;)
It had just rained and the clouds are painting the sky with a beautiful artwork of etched silver and hot pink, leading to the sunset. The air was fresh. We enjoyed the dinner, and now were asked to take out the trash using the truck. I like a challenge, so I decided to try and figure out what "taking out the trash using the truck" meant. *Oh golly, I've been too busy being a "city" girl I forgot how to load a GIANT truck. yeesh, get it together, Allison.
Minutes passed and I was getting antsy.
If you know me, I'm pretty spoiled. When you take too much of MY time, I get annoyed. So, Bear, I was annoyed ;)
I gradually, yet forcefully decided to interrupt whatever conversation was being held. I caught the tail end of Luke's dad saying, "Just wait on the Facebook thing..."
What?
Then Bear, looking like he got caught, said, "Uh I couldn't...uh, find the keys."
What? You couldn't find the keys? You idiot, you keep them in the same spot to the left after you walk in. That's your excuse? YOU COULDN'T find the KEYSS??????
My thoughts went from: slightly annoyed-> annoyed -> moderately annoyed -> (to now, at this redheaded point of mine)..furious. Livid, whatever. You get my point.
Luke's dad said: Redheads are just blondes with high blood pressure. Yep.
We finally got up to Cress Creek. So we're hiking and there's all these little LDS youth group kids running around. Driving sitting next to Bear in the GIANT truck was all but frustrating. SO nice to regain my thoughts. (Is it weird that traffic soothes me? Thanks, Seattle.)
Then all these little Deacons and Priest, Laurels and Beehives and Mia Maids were running around like someone just told them to go wild. Oh wait. Someone did. Thanks youth group leaders. You know who you are.... ;)
So Bear starts asking all these questions:
"We can do this eternity thing, right?"
-Well yeah, duh.
"You mean like, forever, right?"
-Lucas, come on. Yes.
"So even if I come home upset over a professor or dumb HW assignment, you'll be there?"
-Lucas, I love you. I will stop dinner, put those darn kiddos in their room, sit you down and love on ya til you feel better.
Then came the heart wrenching moment:
"You'll still love me even if I don't propose yet?"
Heart: drop to the belly
Tears: Well up to the brim
Heart again: Shatter
Thought: He's not doing it tonight.
"Allison, I just want it to be the perfect moment.
*WARNING: SENSITIVE BLUNTNESS COMING*
-Lucas, the right time is when you decide to 'grow a pair' and do it. I don't want to wait around for the "perfect" time.
Ain't Nobody got time for that.
Back on track.
"Ok, let's go to the top this time."
*SIDE NOTE* the first time we did cress creek, I was wearing the wrong shoes and my tosies hurt :( so we could only go halfway.
It wrapped around one last time, and a random post catches my eye.
A post!! A little fence thing! Yeeep!
I skip to the post and hear the footsteps stop.
Heart: stops
Mind: what the...?
Eyes: Bear, what's wrong with Bear.
Action: look at Bear.
I turn and see the most nervous, about to barf, slight beads of sweat forming beneath the hairline form of Lucas Clark than I have ever seen outside of the OG.
*SIDE NOTE* Man, Lucas is hot. Whew.
I run to him and kiss his neck and mew, "Bear, Bear!! What's wrong, are you ok?!?!?"
With his hands raised to my shoulders, he claimed, "We can do this together right?"
Eyes: roll
Mind: YES for crying out loud
Heart: skips a beat
Then, with slow hesitance and slight caution, he slowly reaches into his pocket and fiddles with a little black box.
Arms: immediate rush to the gaping mouth
Heart: races
Mind: ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*234983759836246732
"Allison, will you marry me?"
-YES!! yes!! I will make you sandwiches, YES!!
*Makeout sesh*
Whewew. Sorry Stephanie Meyer and all those involved in Twilight, but Edward ain't got NOTHING on my Bear. Lucas's heart sparkles alone through the soft, tattered, brusied from football, and ached hands from ruthless girls holding them. *No offense, but if you broke my Bear's heart more than once, I'd appreciate it if you simply "float away" like the paperwork in Monster's Inc. Am I clear?*
So there he was/is. My Bear, My Love, My Eternal Companion. 5 diamonds on the engagement band, from KAY JEWLER'S!! (Located in the mall across from Best Buy Mobile, and Jensen Jeweler's.) Every Kiss, now, then, forever, began with Kay, and Brandon who works there.
I love my Lucas Clark Dahl, and I can hardly WAIT to marry my best friend.
-Allison Susanne De Arton
The pics
Ok, so it began as a usual night. Dinner with the Dahl's (delicious steak fajitas) and then off to a hike at Cress Creek (15 minutes from his house). So, if you're LDS, you know that Tuesday=Mutual. Oh brother. Those darn kids were running around like someone sprayed them with catnip. Yeesh.
*SIDE NOTE: I picked up Ziggy earlier that day in Lucas's neighborhood. Baha. Two Rigby boys stole my heart. AND they're KEEPING it. Yikes ;)
It had just rained and the clouds are painting the sky with a beautiful artwork of etched silver and hot pink, leading to the sunset. The air was fresh. We enjoyed the dinner, and now were asked to take out the trash using the truck. I like a challenge, so I decided to try and figure out what "taking out the trash using the truck" meant. *Oh golly, I've been too busy being a "city" girl I forgot how to load a GIANT truck. yeesh, get it together, Allison.
Minutes passed and I was getting antsy.
If you know me, I'm pretty spoiled. When you take too much of MY time, I get annoyed. So, Bear, I was annoyed ;)
I gradually, yet forcefully decided to interrupt whatever conversation was being held. I caught the tail end of Luke's dad saying, "Just wait on the Facebook thing..."
What?
Then Bear, looking like he got caught, said, "Uh I couldn't...uh, find the keys."
What? You couldn't find the keys? You idiot, you keep them in the same spot to the left after you walk in. That's your excuse? YOU COULDN'T find the KEYSS??????
My thoughts went from: slightly annoyed-> annoyed -> moderately annoyed -> (to now, at this redheaded point of mine)..furious. Livid, whatever. You get my point.
Luke's dad said: Redheads are just blondes with high blood pressure. Yep.
We finally got up to Cress Creek. So we're hiking and there's all these little LDS youth group kids running around. Driving sitting next to Bear in the GIANT truck was all but frustrating. SO nice to regain my thoughts. (Is it weird that traffic soothes me? Thanks, Seattle.)
Then all these little Deacons and Priest, Laurels and Beehives and Mia Maids were running around like someone just told them to go wild. Oh wait. Someone did. Thanks youth group leaders. You know who you are.... ;)
So Bear starts asking all these questions:
"We can do this eternity thing, right?"
-Well yeah, duh.
"You mean like, forever, right?"
-Lucas, come on. Yes.
"So even if I come home upset over a professor or dumb HW assignment, you'll be there?"
-Lucas, I love you. I will stop dinner, put those darn kiddos in their room, sit you down and love on ya til you feel better.
Then came the heart wrenching moment:
"You'll still love me even if I don't propose yet?"
Heart: drop to the belly
Tears: Well up to the brim
Heart again: Shatter
Thought: He's not doing it tonight.
"Allison, I just want it to be the perfect moment.
*WARNING: SENSITIVE BLUNTNESS COMING*
-Lucas, the right time is when you decide to 'grow a pair' and do it. I don't want to wait around for the "perfect" time.
Ain't Nobody got time for that.
Back on track.
"Ok, let's go to the top this time."
*SIDE NOTE* the first time we did cress creek, I was wearing the wrong shoes and my tosies hurt :( so we could only go halfway.
It wrapped around one last time, and a random post catches my eye.
A post!! A little fence thing! Yeeep!
I skip to the post and hear the footsteps stop.
Heart: stops
Mind: what the...?
Eyes: Bear, what's wrong with Bear.
Action: look at Bear.
I turn and see the most nervous, about to barf, slight beads of sweat forming beneath the hairline form of Lucas Clark than I have ever seen outside of the OG.
*SIDE NOTE* Man, Lucas is hot. Whew.
I run to him and kiss his neck and mew, "Bear, Bear!! What's wrong, are you ok?!?!?"
With his hands raised to my shoulders, he claimed, "We can do this together right?"
Eyes: roll
Mind: YES for crying out loud
Heart: skips a beat
Then, with slow hesitance and slight caution, he slowly reaches into his pocket and fiddles with a little black box.
Arms: immediate rush to the gaping mouth
Heart: races
Mind: ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*234983759836246732
"Allison, will you marry me?"
-YES!! yes!! I will make you sandwiches, YES!!
*Makeout sesh*
Whewew. Sorry Stephanie Meyer and all those involved in Twilight, but Edward ain't got NOTHING on my Bear. Lucas's heart sparkles alone through the soft, tattered, brusied from football, and ached hands from ruthless girls holding them. *No offense, but if you broke my Bear's heart more than once, I'd appreciate it if you simply "float away" like the paperwork in Monster's Inc. Am I clear?*
So there he was/is. My Bear, My Love, My Eternal Companion. 5 diamonds on the engagement band, from KAY JEWLER'S!! (Located in the mall across from Best Buy Mobile, and Jensen Jeweler's.) Every Kiss, now, then, forever, began with Kay, and Brandon who works there.
I love my Lucas Clark Dahl, and I can hardly WAIT to marry my best friend.
-Allison Susanne De Arton
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
A LOT of Allison: The Fox met the Bear
Ok ok, so I know everyone is DYING to hear the proposal story. Agh, I'll write it I guess ;)
So Lucas and I met and the place "We're All Family Here". I swear, that OG pops out couples like babies. My heck. So, Lucas is EVERYTHING I said I would NEVER marry. He's:
-From Rigby
-A country boy
-Loves hunting and fishing
-Innocent as all get out
-A country boy (did I mention that already?)
-From Idaho * 230992374935785738374 (I used to hate Idaho. Like really, truly, strongly dislike it.)
-Same workplace (I thought I would need a break from my future husband)
So, here are the things I LOVE about Lucas Dahl:
-A country boy
-Loves hunting and fishing
-Innocent as all get out
-A country boy (did I mention that already?)
-From Idaho * 230992374935785738374 (I used to hate Idaho. Like really, truly, strongly dislike it.)
-Same workplace (I thought I would need a break from my future husband)
Hm. Fancy that.
Lucas treats me like I'm some sort of queen. He NEVER makes me feel less that a million dollars, and if he accidentally does, he's the first to fix it. Man, that boy. His heart is made of solid gold. AND that gold is my precious (Insert Gollum(sp?) jokes here.)
My ring has five diamonds on it (EVERY KISS BEGINS WITH KAY, btw. Seriously though. Kay Jewelers. That's what's up.) On Sunday, I leaned over to Lucas and said: "One baby for each diamond."
His face went bright red and he laughed and whispered, "...good thing I didn't get the twenty diamond ring.." Hahah, oh man. Still cracks me up.
So, April 3rd, Lucas and I went on our very first date. He asked me out *in person* in the OG parking lot on March 31st.
We had such a blast. We talked for 4 HOURS in the hills about everything you shouldn't talk about on a first date. Marriage, kids, my daughter, which temple, past childhood fears, memories, ex girlfriends, ex boyfriends, hardships, failures, and lastly, jokes. We laughed, I almost cried and we slow danced under the stars to Yellow by Coldplay (Kyle C. Brown, you should know now why I fell madly in love that very night.)
After the dance ended, Lucas presented a challenge. He said,
"This is awkward, but I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now."
If you know me, you know I love a challenge. I had 2 and a half weeks before he went up to BYU-I-do and I knew I had to snag him before some other marriage hungry freshman did. He was going to be mine, but I was pressed for time. SO I began planning and plotting with my brother, Jacob (27, married, one new little baby nephew...lives with us now...so stay away from our house if you don't want trouble ;) )
I went to see Kyle Brown that weekend, an old childhood friend whom I haven't seen for 7 years. Oh Kyle, how nothing has changed blows my mind. You're still that same 6th grader who called me hot and chased me around with your cousin. Good times. Anyway, back to Lucas.
Jake immediately said, "Allison, you're in the fragile stages. You have to invite him to something...like the conference breakfast. Something."
So that very night, I told Lucas my first and last lie. He called me and my car rang. Lucas doesn't know this, but my bestie Erin Norma was in the front seat and listened to the entire conversation. Sorry Bear. You were nervous and I wanted you to be ok with talking to me :D Forgive me??
So Saturday rolled around and I told him I could tell him a bedtime story. Well my friends, that bedtime story lasted 5 hours and 40 minutes. Haha ohh man. And that is where the clothed gecko came into play. Yes, I'm making an announcement: I am starting my own (our own) clothing line for geckos, squirrels, and turkeys. Maybe hens...possibly rabbits. We'll see.
So after our kiss, my brother advised to not let Lucas kiss me until we were "official". Yeah, that lasted 5 days. Well, 4 dates and 5 days haha.
Ok, so you get it. Now time for the good stuff: The Proposal.
A picture is worth a thousand words. So, let's do some el photos.
Looks like you'll have to wait for the proposal story. >:)
Allison Susanne De Arton, the future Mr. Lucas Clark Dahl's wifey.
So Lucas and I met and the place "We're All Family Here". I swear, that OG pops out couples like babies. My heck. So, Lucas is EVERYTHING I said I would NEVER marry. He's:
-From Rigby
-A country boy
-Loves hunting and fishing
-Innocent as all get out
-A country boy (did I mention that already?)
-From Idaho * 230992374935785738374 (I used to hate Idaho. Like really, truly, strongly dislike it.)
-Same workplace (I thought I would need a break from my future husband)
So, here are the things I LOVE about Lucas Dahl:
-A country boy
-Loves hunting and fishing
-Innocent as all get out
-A country boy (did I mention that already?)
-From Idaho * 230992374935785738374 (I used to hate Idaho. Like really, truly, strongly dislike it.)
-Same workplace (I thought I would need a break from my future husband)
Hm. Fancy that.
Lucas treats me like I'm some sort of queen. He NEVER makes me feel less that a million dollars, and if he accidentally does, he's the first to fix it. Man, that boy. His heart is made of solid gold. AND that gold is my precious (Insert Gollum(sp?) jokes here.)
My ring has five diamonds on it (EVERY KISS BEGINS WITH KAY, btw. Seriously though. Kay Jewelers. That's what's up.) On Sunday, I leaned over to Lucas and said: "One baby for each diamond."
His face went bright red and he laughed and whispered, "...good thing I didn't get the twenty diamond ring.." Hahah, oh man. Still cracks me up.
So, April 3rd, Lucas and I went on our very first date. He asked me out *in person* in the OG parking lot on March 31st.
We had such a blast. We talked for 4 HOURS in the hills about everything you shouldn't talk about on a first date. Marriage, kids, my daughter, which temple, past childhood fears, memories, ex girlfriends, ex boyfriends, hardships, failures, and lastly, jokes. We laughed, I almost cried and we slow danced under the stars to Yellow by Coldplay (Kyle C. Brown, you should know now why I fell madly in love that very night.)
After the dance ended, Lucas presented a challenge. He said,
"This is awkward, but I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now."
If you know me, you know I love a challenge. I had 2 and a half weeks before he went up to BYU-I-do and I knew I had to snag him before some other marriage hungry freshman did. He was going to be mine, but I was pressed for time. SO I began planning and plotting with my brother, Jacob (27, married, one new little baby nephew...lives with us now...so stay away from our house if you don't want trouble ;) )
I went to see Kyle Brown that weekend, an old childhood friend whom I haven't seen for 7 years. Oh Kyle, how nothing has changed blows my mind. You're still that same 6th grader who called me hot and chased me around with your cousin. Good times. Anyway, back to Lucas.
Jake immediately said, "Allison, you're in the fragile stages. You have to invite him to something...like the conference breakfast. Something."
So that very night, I told Lucas my first and last lie. He called me and my car rang. Lucas doesn't know this, but my bestie Erin Norma was in the front seat and listened to the entire conversation. Sorry Bear. You were nervous and I wanted you to be ok with talking to me :D Forgive me??
So Saturday rolled around and I told him I could tell him a bedtime story. Well my friends, that bedtime story lasted 5 hours and 40 minutes. Haha ohh man. And that is where the clothed gecko came into play. Yes, I'm making an announcement: I am starting my own (our own) clothing line for geckos, squirrels, and turkeys. Maybe hens...possibly rabbits. We'll see.
 |
| this is the face you're making right now, right? |
So the dates passed and on Monday, April 7th, Mr. Dahl and I shared our first kiss. MMM. That boy.
 |
| I'm sorry Bear, I had to add this. Please don't be angry! ;) |
So after our kiss, my brother advised to not let Lucas kiss me until we were "official". Yeah, that lasted 5 days. Well, 4 dates and 5 days haha.
I have spent the LEAST amount of money on Lucas. We go crazy just doing things. Picnics. Betting on which bird will fly away first. Laughing. Tickle fights. Tag. Trampoline jumps in my backyard. Chatting with his parents and younger sister Miranda. (I've spent more money on Miranda than I have Lucas. She's in hair school and gets tips. What can I say? Girl knows what she's doing.)
Being that Lucas is a server, I would leave him extremely generous tips during our early stages of dating. Mostly because I love him..I mean..I knew he needed to save monies.
 |
| Fun LA fact #24: Lucas and Allison both love shoes. Allison has over 40 pairs, and Lucas has an unreasonable about of shoes as well. Fancy that. |
A picture is worth a thousand words. So, let's do some el photos.
Looks like you'll have to wait for the proposal story. >:)
Allison Susanne De Arton, the future Mr. Lucas Clark Dahl's wifey.
Monday, June 16, 2014
Break
It hurts,
This pain.
It's saddening,
Your gain.
You work
Like clocks.
Your words
Are rocks.
I'm angry
At you.
I'm annoyed
With you.
Give up,
I quit.
I'm done
With this.
Say goodbye,
You jerk.
I knew
We wouldn't work.
I told
You so,
And now
Let go.
Goodbye Tyler,
I hope you
Are happy
With what you do.
-Allison S. De Arton
This pain.
It's saddening,
Your gain.
You work
Like clocks.
Your words
Are rocks.
I'm angry
At you.
I'm annoyed
With you.
Give up,
I quit.
I'm done
With this.
Say goodbye,
You jerk.
I knew
We wouldn't work.
I told
You so,
And now
Let go.
Goodbye Tyler,
I hope you
Are happy
With what you do.
-Allison S. De Arton
A LOT of Allison: I'm a De Arton, and Here's Why
Lucas: "There are three names in this town that if you have them, you get anything you want." (Lucas proceeds to list off three last names.)
At this point in the conversation, I grin and say,
"Idaho Falls is like that, too. Want to know one of the last names?"
Lucas laughs and says,
"Yeah.."
With a smirk and over-confident tone, I lean forward and say,
"De Arton."
Well, Happy Father's Day everyone!! I'd like to tribute this post to my father. His name is Greg. Gregory Dean. You may know him as Brother De Arton, Bro D., Papsi McStud, Grelt, or heck, Grig. My dad was born and raised in California as a young boy who had a brother 10 years older than him. Back in 1953, my dad was a charming little baby in April to two proud parents. Over his years of life, my father has done one thing my friends, and one thing alone. What is that? He has: impacted. That's the best word to describe the many gifts and treasures my dad has compiled and given to this world.
So, my dad met my mom and they fell madly in love in their short 3 months of dating. Over 30 years, 6 children, and 9 grandchildren later, my beautiful parents still laugh at their own dumb jokes. Yeesh, those two ;)
My dad has always been a hardworking man for my dear mother. Although I am the youngest and haven't seen it all, I do know my dad has been employed their entire marriage. Whether that job be a school bus driver in Idaho or a Seminary teacher across the midwest, my dad has always been pushing his shoulder to that wheel. (Even more so now, since he's a trucker and all).
When I was brought into this world when my dad was 40, his first words were "Ping!". Now, after having birthed a child, I now understand why that nickname is relevant. It also happens to be a nice golfing brand. Looks like I lucked out on that delivery table.
Not only was I lucky because I had the most amazing mother for a fun-fuel fired-fierce-redheaded baby like myself, I was lucky because I had a brilliant father standing in that same room at the Idaho Hospital.
Let me tell you a story about my dad and I. It begins with a Hug-a-Bug...a kiss on the forehead...and chuckle under a raspy deep breath...
It's 1998, and the tides are changing in the De Arton home. With one eldest daughter out of the house and 5 more kids to juggle, the news hits: The move is coming.
Move? What move?
Allison comes bouncing in, full of life and joy. 1st grade has been a blast, but now it's time for the real fun to begin: summer.
"Hey pingy! I have something to tell you!" A voice calls over from the couch.
Allison is happy to see her beloved father and runs to him immediately.
Wrap my arms around his neck, hug him tight like this... Allison hums in her head as she approaches her daddy.
"What?! What's the big news?!" she yelps as she climbs into her father's arms.
"We're moving!"
Moving? We're moving?! I get to be the girl that "moved"?!?!
Allison has a grin beam across her face. She always wanted to be different, and now she got to be!! How thrilled that little girl was on that summer day when she found out that her home of 6 years was going to be changing. And not changing to another house, but another state. Another life.
I tell you that story because that sums up how my relationship is with my dad. Very exciting, very sudden, and has always been life changing.
I love you dad, and I always will.
I'm so glad when daddy comes home, glad as I can be!
...I'll put my arms around his neck, hug him tight like this!
And then I'll give him a great big...whaaat??
A GREAT BIG KISS!!
(LDS Primary Song)
-Allison Susanne De Arton
At this point in the conversation, I grin and say,
"Idaho Falls is like that, too. Want to know one of the last names?"
Lucas laughs and says,
"Yeah.."
With a smirk and over-confident tone, I lean forward and say,
"De Arton."
Well, Happy Father's Day everyone!! I'd like to tribute this post to my father. His name is Greg. Gregory Dean. You may know him as Brother De Arton, Bro D., Papsi McStud, Grelt, or heck, Grig. My dad was born and raised in California as a young boy who had a brother 10 years older than him. Back in 1953, my dad was a charming little baby in April to two proud parents. Over his years of life, my father has done one thing my friends, and one thing alone. What is that? He has: impacted. That's the best word to describe the many gifts and treasures my dad has compiled and given to this world.
So, my dad met my mom and they fell madly in love in their short 3 months of dating. Over 30 years, 6 children, and 9 grandchildren later, my beautiful parents still laugh at their own dumb jokes. Yeesh, those two ;)
My dad has always been a hardworking man for my dear mother. Although I am the youngest and haven't seen it all, I do know my dad has been employed their entire marriage. Whether that job be a school bus driver in Idaho or a Seminary teacher across the midwest, my dad has always been pushing his shoulder to that wheel. (Even more so now, since he's a trucker and all).
When I was brought into this world when my dad was 40, his first words were "Ping!". Now, after having birthed a child, I now understand why that nickname is relevant. It also happens to be a nice golfing brand. Looks like I lucked out on that delivery table.
Not only was I lucky because I had the most amazing mother for a fun-fuel fired-fierce-redheaded baby like myself, I was lucky because I had a brilliant father standing in that same room at the Idaho Hospital.
Let me tell you a story about my dad and I. It begins with a Hug-a-Bug...a kiss on the forehead...and chuckle under a raspy deep breath...
It's 1998, and the tides are changing in the De Arton home. With one eldest daughter out of the house and 5 more kids to juggle, the news hits: The move is coming.
Move? What move?
Allison comes bouncing in, full of life and joy. 1st grade has been a blast, but now it's time for the real fun to begin: summer.
"Hey pingy! I have something to tell you!" A voice calls over from the couch.
 |
| Dad & Al, Aug. 2012 |
Wrap my arms around his neck, hug him tight like this... Allison hums in her head as she approaches her daddy.
"What?! What's the big news?!" she yelps as she climbs into her father's arms.
"We're moving!"
Moving? We're moving?! I get to be the girl that "moved"?!?!
Allison has a grin beam across her face. She always wanted to be different, and now she got to be!! How thrilled that little girl was on that summer day when she found out that her home of 6 years was going to be changing. And not changing to another house, but another state. Another life.
I tell you that story because that sums up how my relationship is with my dad. Very exciting, very sudden, and has always been life changing.
I love you dad, and I always will.
I'm so glad when daddy comes home, glad as I can be!
...I'll put my arms around his neck, hug him tight like this!
And then I'll give him a great big...whaaat??
A GREAT BIG KISS!!
(LDS Primary Song)
-Allison Susanne De Arton
Friday, May 23, 2014
A Little Bit of Allison: Why I Adopted My Cat
Thank you to all of those who watched my v-log.
For those of you who know anything about me, you know that I have a black cat named Stickchi. Pronounced like Stick-Chee. The only person I permit to give nicknames to my cat other than myself is Erin. So, if your name isn't Erin Norma, please refrain from addressing my cat by anything but her first name.
So, we got Stickchi when we first moved here to Idaho about 8 years ago. We got her from the humane society where I chased her around the store to get her. We've been besties ever since ;).
Stickchi was my first confidant in Idaho due to the fact that my mental illness drove anyone else away at the time. Stickchi put up with my dramatic mood swings and, some nights, was the only thing catching my tears.
As the years have gone by and I've moved out and moved back, my darling cat has always remained loyal to me. Well, let's be real, she's a cat. So I've always remained loyal to her ;)
When the adoption of Adelé took place, it was clear I needed to hold on to something alive and breathing at night to comfort the pain. My giant Piglet I've had since my 6th birthday has always been a great support, but Stickchi had that extra something. She's alive.
As this year has passed, Stickchi and I have formed a bond that no other cat will be able to replace. Sometimes in the recent months I've had nightmares where Stickchi dies. Well, I've taken this to be symbolic because while I was pregnant with baby A, I always dreamt she would turn into a cat after she was born. Holly and I made jokes out of it and really enjoyed talking about cats and how much Holly hates them, just like I hate dogs. Well my friends, I've taken these dreams of Stickchi dying as a symbol of my need for baby A to be my daughter dying. My body doesn't long to hold Adelé anymore like it used to.
When discussing all of this on baby A's birthday with my boyfriend, Lucas said to me:
"I think this is Heaven;y Father's way of telling you you get to choose how to feel now."
I agree with Lucas, and the emotion I choose to feel is joy. Joy that I have Stickchi, and joy that Adelé has Dinky and Lily (their dogs). Joy that Adelé has a rockin' mom and a domesticated stay at home dad. Joy that I, Allison, have come to terms with placing baby A and taking in Stickchi.
With that, I leave you the lyrics to a song that I just recently related to my experience in the hospital with Adelé. It was Wednesday night, and placement would take place the next day. Thank you Maroon 5, I couldn't have said it better myself...yet.
Here I am waiting
I'll have to leave soon
Why am I holding on?
We knew this day would come
We knew it all along
How did it come so fast?
This is our last night but it's late
And I'm trying not to sleep
Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away
And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close
Here I am staring at your perfection
In my arms, so beautiful
The sky is getting bright, the stars are burning out
Somebody slow it down
This is way too hard, cause I know
When the sun comes up, I will leave
This is my last glance that will soon be memory
And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close
I never want it to stop
Because I don't wanna start all over
Start all over
I was afraid of the dark
But now it's all that I want
All that I want, all that I want
And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close
And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close
(Lyrics provided by A-Z Lyric Universe, A-Z Lyrics)
-Allison Susanne De Arton
For those of you who know anything about me, you know that I have a black cat named Stickchi. Pronounced like Stick-Chee. The only person I permit to give nicknames to my cat other than myself is Erin. So, if your name isn't Erin Norma, please refrain from addressing my cat by anything but her first name.
So, we got Stickchi when we first moved here to Idaho about 8 years ago. We got her from the humane society where I chased her around the store to get her. We've been besties ever since ;).
Stickchi was my first confidant in Idaho due to the fact that my mental illness drove anyone else away at the time. Stickchi put up with my dramatic mood swings and, some nights, was the only thing catching my tears.
As the years have gone by and I've moved out and moved back, my darling cat has always remained loyal to me. Well, let's be real, she's a cat. So I've always remained loyal to her ;)
When the adoption of Adelé took place, it was clear I needed to hold on to something alive and breathing at night to comfort the pain. My giant Piglet I've had since my 6th birthday has always been a great support, but Stickchi had that extra something. She's alive.
As this year has passed, Stickchi and I have formed a bond that no other cat will be able to replace. Sometimes in the recent months I've had nightmares where Stickchi dies. Well, I've taken this to be symbolic because while I was pregnant with baby A, I always dreamt she would turn into a cat after she was born. Holly and I made jokes out of it and really enjoyed talking about cats and how much Holly hates them, just like I hate dogs. Well my friends, I've taken these dreams of Stickchi dying as a symbol of my need for baby A to be my daughter dying. My body doesn't long to hold Adelé anymore like it used to.
When discussing all of this on baby A's birthday with my boyfriend, Lucas said to me:
"I think this is Heaven;y Father's way of telling you you get to choose how to feel now."
I agree with Lucas, and the emotion I choose to feel is joy. Joy that I have Stickchi, and joy that Adelé has Dinky and Lily (their dogs). Joy that Adelé has a rockin' mom and a domesticated stay at home dad. Joy that I, Allison, have come to terms with placing baby A and taking in Stickchi.
With that, I leave you the lyrics to a song that I just recently related to my experience in the hospital with Adelé. It was Wednesday night, and placement would take place the next day. Thank you Maroon 5, I couldn't have said it better myself...yet.
Here I am waiting
I'll have to leave soon
Why am I holding on?
We knew this day would come
We knew it all along
How did it come so fast?
This is our last night but it's late
And I'm trying not to sleep
Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away
And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close
Here I am staring at your perfection
In my arms, so beautiful
The sky is getting bright, the stars are burning out
Somebody slow it down
This is way too hard, cause I know
When the sun comes up, I will leave
This is my last glance that will soon be memory
And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close
I never want it to stop
Because I don't wanna start all over
Start all over
I was afraid of the dark
But now it's all that I want
All that I want, all that I want
And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close
And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close
(Lyrics provided by A-Z Lyric Universe, A-Z Lyrics)
-Allison Susanne De Arton
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
A Little Bit of Allison: So It's Been A Year...
Hey! I have a post coming, but I thought I would do this 6 minute video first. Sorry it's longer than I wanted it to be!! Anyway, to preface this video, please read my adoption post. After you've done that, enjoy six and a half minutes of me chit chatting away! ;) Thanks readers, you're awesome.
sorry the audio doesn't match the picture that well!
-Allison S. De Arton
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Another English Paper
Hey friends!! This is the final essay I had to write for my English class. Our topic was from watching a video about food, and we had to pick anything from it and derive a paper from that. Well, I decided within the first five minutes I wanted to write a story, and my topic was going to be the following sentence:
"There are no seasons in the American super market."
Here it is :) I'm pretty proud of it.
"There are no seasons in the American super market."
Here it is :) I'm pretty proud of it.
The
Orange Who Knew Too Much
Alfred
was a simple man. He enjoyed his days spent in his home with his family. One of
his favorite hobbies was to sit and watch people. Alfred had a lovely wife with
several children. Alfred had several siblings along with his parents and
grandparents. They all lived in the same vicinity, making family reunions all
but necessary. Most of Alfred’s family was content with this life as well.
Generations had passed with the same attitude towards life. His youngest
daughter, Albany, knew she wanted something more. Alfred always reminded Albany
life wasn’t very complicated because “the seasons never change in an American
super market.” Albany hated that saying, as it was a motto used throughout the
neighborhood. Albany knew that there was something beyond the sliding glass
doors, something calling to her.
Albany had been brought into this
world several months before joining her family. One could argue she was
adopted, but in this neighborhood, everyone was. There were a few immediate
families that were technically biological, but during the shuffle of moving
into the neighborhood, most were mixed together. Albany had undergone the usual
memory erase that each of her kind go through to come to The Kingdom. It was a
routine that everyone knew happened, yet they couldn’t remember why. Most
everyone was content with this system. No one wanted to agitate the giants, so
asking questions wasn’t an option. There were several different neighborhoods
in the Kingdom. There were several different giants who ruled the Kingdom. The
most important giants were indistinguishable. Alfred often referred to these
giants as “humans” which meant to look your best every time they came to
evaluate the neighborhood. Alfred was an older man, so he had lived through
many “pickings” the “humans” would do. “Pickings” were what the giants did in
order to keep the people’s allegiance. It was a reminder who was really in
charge. The red knitted jails where the inmates were kept were picked more
often than in the neighborhoods. The giants understood that society needed to
remain safe and tax money spent well. The jails were picked more frequently
because of this.
One usual morning in Alfred’s
neighborhood, Albany woke and adjusted herself to look her best. She thought
about the several different things that ran her simple life. How could her life
be simple? She felt as though her life was anything but simple. Everyone in her
neighborhood just accepted what they were told without questioning it. When
gatherings occurred, everyone looked their best just in case a human came to do
a picking. None of these people thought for themselves. As Albany let her
thoughts travel throughout their various destinations in her brain, she felt a
small tap on her shoulder. It was Alfred. Even though he was technically Albany’s
father, she would never address him as such.
“Good morning Alfred.” Albany said
in her usual cold tone. She didn’t put emotion in her words because she felt
that she wasn’t allowed to feel them anyway, so what was the use.
“Albany,” began Alfred. He was
concerned, and his words were hoping to ease some of his worry for his
daughter. “I know you aren’t like the others…and I know…” he was then
interrupted by an angry Albany, an emotion he had yet to witness.
“You know I’m not like the others? How on Kingdom would you know that? The most you’ve ever said to
me is ‘the seasons never change in American supermarket’!” Her voice mimicked
his in a demeaning way, and offended Alfred. Taken back by her sudden glimpse
of emotion, Alfred took a moment to gather his thoughts. Letting his hurt
feelings get the best of him, he sternly replied,
“Yes, I know you’re not like the
others because you don’t fit in this neighborhood like everyone else does.
You’re different, and it’s disgustingly apparent.”
The strongest
attribute Alfred contained was also his weakness. He was quick to speak, and
his words always had meaning and an impact on who heard them. Albany felt as
though someone had just stung her heart with an acidic knife. She wasn’t like
the others, he was right. That also meant she could stand up to him and say
what she was really thinking.
“Well, if it’s disgustingly
apparent, why don’t you put me in the red mesh jail? Wouldn’t your life be
simpler if only someone wasn’t reminding you of the strife that haunts you at
night?” Albany was proud of her condescending comeback, and was even more proud
when she witnessed Alfred, defeated, turn away. Albany wasn’t expecting this
morning to start in such a way, but now she had even more desire to find out
the truth behind the humans, the giants, and the Kingdom. Her memory may have
been erased, but she was certain she could somehow figure out a way to get to
the bottom of this. The only struggle now was to not get picked. She meant what
she had said to Alfred, but she couldn’t actually afford to go to the red mesh
jail. She couldn’t get picked now.
Alfred was respected in the
neighborhood since he had survived so many pickings. After his confrontation
with Albany, he went to his wife, Andrea, to discuss the issue at hand. Andrea
was pained to hear her newest daughter had developed such hatred toward the
system. Andrea believed the humans were merely a way to help the people
maintain their purpose. She tried to offer her daughter examples and stories to
prove her belief. Albany refused any of these explanations and decided to move
from the neighborhood to the red mesh jail. She figured life in prison would be
better than life in ignorance.
As Albany joined one of the jails,
she couldn’t help but feel alone. Thoughts scattered across her brain as she
tried to make sense of what her life had become. The red mesh jail fell silent
as they saw two humans come straight for it. Albany closed her eyes just as the
picking began. She felt the jail cell she was in move and shake. Suddenly, as
her red mesh jail had been chosen, a memory flooded her mind. It was the farm,
a farm in California. There were pesticides and sprays that erased her memory.
There were trucks and men picking her and her family from trees. Trees, the
foreign beauty that she now remembered all too clearly, were now going to be
removed.
Albany
was so lost in her memory that she forgot she had been picked. As she suddenly
revived herself, she opened her eyes to find that one of the humans had peeled
her skin off and was proceeding to eat her. Albany was alright with this,
because now that she remembered, that was her purpose: to feed the humans. It
all made sense now. There are no seasons in the American supermarket because
Albany was an orange. A tasteful, delicious orange who knew too much.
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