I couldn't really think of a title for this one, hence the clever name of "Untitled".
Lately I've been thinking a lot, which I have no other choice but to do just that considering my lack of a job. I've thought a lot about pretty much everything in my life, and I've come to a whole slew of conclusions on different things. One thing I guess I want to blog about is something I can't really put one word to. I suppose phrasing it as a question would best describe it. So, have you ever had so much to say to one person, yet you realize you may never get the opportunity to say it all? I feel like I'm in this bind. There is so much I could say, so many cutting words and questions that would definitely open this person's eyes, yet I'll probably never see them again. And it's not like I'm going to make a phone call, so therefore, I'm stuck dwelling with all the perfect things I could say to this person, and they will continue life and go on as if I don't exist.
Isn't that frustrating? If there are any of you who are in the same position, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's like being a boiling kettle, ready to blow. You're just at the right heat that will keep you boiling, but never allow you to release anything. I feel like it's not fair. I feel as though I've been left with this permanent consequence (in reference to my specific situation) and the other person who helped me get here can go about their merry way and not even think about it. It drives me crazy. I wish so badly I could call said person and tell him to meet me somewhere and oh boy, I'd let him have it. Say everything and anything so that he couldn't escape the pain. Then I have to wonder, if that all really happened, would I feel any relief? If I indeed said everything I wanted to say, would I be happy? Could I move on? I don't know. I don't know if it would bring me the satisfaction I always imagine it would.
So instead I guess I'll blog about it, being that's another one of my 'only option' situations. I hope that the saying of what goes around comes around is really true. Not that I'm wishing harm on this person, but more of I'm wishing I'll someday get the happiness he seems to live all too well. One day I suppose, but until then, I'll continue like I've said before. Waiting, hoping, and dreaming of my more beautiful tomorrows.
-Allison
Friday, December 21, 2012
Sunday, December 16, 2012
P.O.C.A.
Long ago, I thought of a phrase
I asked a friend if it made sense,
She said no.
Embarrassed that once again,
it was only me who understood
I buckled, and said it came from someone else.
Later on, I thought
It can't be from someone else,
That phrase is mine
So here I am,
Using this phrase
this oh so "embarrassing" line
Bleeding scar,
Hopeless fate.
There, I've said it. And it works
On this particular date.
-Allison S. De Arton
Week 17: The Feel
Here I lay, in what feels like my coffin.
My heart still beating, although it's exhausted.
Memories flooding through my mind,
Flashbacks replaying as if to rewind.
Clenching on to what feels like hope,
Even though it's just a blanket helping me cope.
I cringe at each moment, playing relentlessly.
Why can't my mind spare me, and continue contently.
I close my eyes as the tears begin to fall,
Abandoned, I'm left here in despair of it all.
How can you move on and forget everything?
You pretend it didn't happen, that must be your new beginning.
I hope to never see you again,
Because you've left me with nothing, not even a friend.
-Allison S. De Arton
My heart still beating, although it's exhausted.
Memories flooding through my mind,
Flashbacks replaying as if to rewind.
Clenching on to what feels like hope,
Even though it's just a blanket helping me cope.
I cringe at each moment, playing relentlessly.
Why can't my mind spare me, and continue contently.
I close my eyes as the tears begin to fall,
Abandoned, I'm left here in despair of it all.
How can you move on and forget everything?
You pretend it didn't happen, that must be your new beginning.
I hope to never see you again,
Because you've left me with nothing, not even a friend.
-Allison S. De Arton
Monday, December 10, 2012
A Little Bit of Allison: Kindness
Alright, I'm kind of a sucker. And the person who inspired this post will probably roll their eyes at me, because to him..it was probably just a simple compliment, but to me, well it resulted in a full on post.
I think today, as a society, we overlook kindness and may even view it as a weakness. The particular form of kindness I want to write about is complimenting someone, or expressing your appreciation for something they've done.
I had an interesting Sunday night which lead to an uneventful Monday. Basically, my whole day was altered because of the events from last night. So, when I received a text from an old friend complimenting things I had written, it really turned everything around. I can guarantee that this friend merely wanted to share that he thought what I had written was good, and nothing more. I bet you he didn't think of the impact it would have. So here I am wondering, how is it that this simple text message made my mediocre Monday an enjoyable one? It really did turn my whole evening around and actually made me smile. That also makes me wonder how we as a people can view kindness as weak when it has so much power over one person? It's interesting to me that through grade school, and I'm sure we all experienced this one way or another, the kid who was the mean one generally had more power over us. The bully was the top kid. Why is that when a simple "you look nice today" can do so much more for a person than pushing them down? I guess the point I'm trying to get at is that a lot of times we might hold back a compliment because we don't want to look like ninnies, but if we only said it, oh what an impact it would have made!
So, I guess after all this rambling, the one thing I want you to gain from this post is that kindness goes much further than we ever give it credit for. That one friend's text tonight made a world of difference in my life, so go ahead and make someone else's night. :)
-Allison
I think today, as a society, we overlook kindness and may even view it as a weakness. The particular form of kindness I want to write about is complimenting someone, or expressing your appreciation for something they've done.
I had an interesting Sunday night which lead to an uneventful Monday. Basically, my whole day was altered because of the events from last night. So, when I received a text from an old friend complimenting things I had written, it really turned everything around. I can guarantee that this friend merely wanted to share that he thought what I had written was good, and nothing more. I bet you he didn't think of the impact it would have. So here I am wondering, how is it that this simple text message made my mediocre Monday an enjoyable one? It really did turn my whole evening around and actually made me smile. That also makes me wonder how we as a people can view kindness as weak when it has so much power over one person? It's interesting to me that through grade school, and I'm sure we all experienced this one way or another, the kid who was the mean one generally had more power over us. The bully was the top kid. Why is that when a simple "you look nice today" can do so much more for a person than pushing them down? I guess the point I'm trying to get at is that a lot of times we might hold back a compliment because we don't want to look like ninnies, but if we only said it, oh what an impact it would have made!
So, I guess after all this rambling, the one thing I want you to gain from this post is that kindness goes much further than we ever give it credit for. That one friend's text tonight made a world of difference in my life, so go ahead and make someone else's night. :)
-Allison
Sunday, December 9, 2012
P.O.C.A.
Broken.
Torn.
Shattered.
Left.
Used.
Boring.
Gloomy.
Next.
Forgotten.
Mistreated.
Replaced.
Dead.
Revived.
Wanted.
Loved.
Instead.
Happy.
Joyful.
Grateful.
Content.
Steps.
Repeated.
Until.
Death.
-Allison S. De Arton
Torn.
Shattered.
Left.
Used.
Boring.
Gloomy.
Next.
Forgotten.
Mistreated.
Replaced.
Dead.
Revived.
Wanted.
Loved.
Instead.
Happy.
Joyful.
Grateful.
Content.
Steps.
Repeated.
Until.
Death.
-Allison S. De Arton
Week 16: Escape
I'd like to leave, to pack up and go.
I know where I'm going, but I don't want you to know.
I'll take all my belongings, well, the ones I find I'll need,
But I'll leave my cell phone, so don't call me please.
I'm leaving the country, going to a different land.
I'll change my name and maybe even start a foreign band.
It doesn't matter because once I board the plane,
You probably won't see me, no, not ever again.
I'm starting a new life, getting rid of this one.
I'm going to take chances, risk things, and have fun.
I'll be a completely different person than I am today,
But don't try to come find me, for I've made my escape.
-Allison S. De Arton
I know where I'm going, but I don't want you to know.
I'll take all my belongings, well, the ones I find I'll need,
But I'll leave my cell phone, so don't call me please.
I'm leaving the country, going to a different land.
I'll change my name and maybe even start a foreign band.
It doesn't matter because once I board the plane,
You probably won't see me, no, not ever again.
I'm starting a new life, getting rid of this one.
I'm going to take chances, risk things, and have fun.
I'll be a completely different person than I am today,
But don't try to come find me, for I've made my escape.
-Allison S. De Arton
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
A Little Bit of Allison: All I Wanted...
I guess it’s normal for people my age to post their feelings online. I mean, we see it on Facebook everyday. So world, here you go, welcome to what I’m going through…as if my poems weren’t enough.
Every now and then I have a night where I turn on the sad music (I actually have an iTunes playlist called “Sad”) and think about all the failed relationships in my life. It always turns out that I long for one of them, wishing it hadn’t ended. I always feel broken and go to bed and wake up and carry on as if it didn’t happen. It seems these nights are more frequent lately. I can’t decide if it’s because of the holidays, the circumstance I’m currently in, or the fact that I’m just downright lonely. Either option would make sense I suppose.
I think the feeling of being in love is so fantastic that we forget how amazing it is until suddenly it isn’t there anymore. And it’s at this moment that we realize how awful being alone is. Especially when it seems as though everyone around us has someone. I’m not a fan of the single life. I know a lot of people say they enjoy it because they don’t have to worry, they don’t have to be sorry, no hurting and blah, blah, blah…but I would rather feel all that plus enjoy the perks of a relationship than having nothing at all.
I feel like I’ve been single for a long time, yet every time I try to think, “Ok, I’m done with this. Time to find me a man.” I’m still stuck in the same single boat, rowing it by myself. It’s gotten to the point where I’m so fed up with it that I have tried desperate measures. Unfortunately those measures cost money, so I gave up on that too. I don’t know what I’m expecting. To tell you the truth, I don’t really care. I mean I’m not going to date a shmo, but it’s not like I’m so picky and that’s why I’m single. I mean seriously, you see these girls who get asked on so many dates that they have to say no. My goodness, I don’t even have the opportunity to say yes.
I’m not sure why I’m single. I don’t know why all my attempts have failed. That whole “Yellow Zebra” concept seems to keep happening, even though I’m constantly changing who the zebra is. What about me is so unattractive to the male population right now? I’m not even kidding. I will bluntly tell a guy I think he’s cute or I’m interested, and they come up with some lame excuse as to why I’m no good for them. It’s actually quite depressing. None of them have said I was ugly or gross, it’s more of I’m just not for them. How is that possible? I don’t get it.
I don’t think I’ll ever understand the male mind. I remember the week after my now ex-boyfriend broke up with me, I was a magnet. I kid you not, dates every night. But now that I haven’t been dumped recently, it’s like I have a sticker on my forehead that says, “DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME, I’M FRIEND ZONE MATERIAL.” And of course, boys heed to that invisible sticker. I never put it there, in case anyone is wondering. I just don’t know what to do. I’m tired of waiting around. And what exactly am I supposed to be waiting for? Some guy to waltz in to me at Wal*Mart and be like, “Hey, I like you. Be my lady!”? I just don’t know anymore. Obviously I have no other option but to continue life, but let me tell you…it’s awful right now. That’s right, I just posted that online. Awful. My life is awful. Don’t get me wrong, I have food and a bed, but as far as my all around happiness goes, there’s none to speak of.
I’m sorry if this post totally put a damper on your day, but it definitely helps me release some sort of energy. Thanks for reading.
-Allison
Monday, December 3, 2012
P.O.C.A.
A blank page sits in front of me.
What life this page will live, I get to make that be.
I write words and erase them, for they have to be perfect.
I want this page to be happy, not to be the reject.
If only I could talk to the page, ask it what it wanted,
Then maybe it's words could be flaunted.
I think of what would go together,
What words would rhyme, making it flow like a feather.
And once I place the words on the page,
I'll let it be free, and let it drift away.
Hopefully my words made it confident and strong,
Maybe those words will be made into a song.
But for now, they belong to the once blank page, and to the page alone.
Oh page, if you get noticed, do contact me by phone.
Allison S. De Arton
What life this page will live, I get to make that be.
I write words and erase them, for they have to be perfect.
I want this page to be happy, not to be the reject.
If only I could talk to the page, ask it what it wanted,
Then maybe it's words could be flaunted.
I think of what would go together,
What words would rhyme, making it flow like a feather.
And once I place the words on the page,
I'll let it be free, and let it drift away.
Hopefully my words made it confident and strong,
Maybe those words will be made into a song.
But for now, they belong to the once blank page, and to the page alone.
Oh page, if you get noticed, do contact me by phone.
Allison S. De Arton
Week 15: Trucking Along
I'm at that point in my life where I feel as though I'm trucking along.
Just going through the motions, trying to hold on.
I won't lie, life has gotten rather boring,
If my life were a book and you were reading it, you'd be snoring.
I don't like that I have only a few things to look forward to.
I wish I was dating someone, so I could be excited about "seeing you".
I feel as though everything is just floating by,
And as I thought about this the other night, it made me cry.
I'm tired of being lonely and tired of missing all them.
I don't know how to fix that though, as surely I would have my friend.
Maybe something exciting is just around the corner.
Oh how joyous that would be, to put my life in order.
I guess until then I'll just have to wait.
Keep doing what I've been doing, and maybe this boredom appreciate.
I'll just keep going, and write poem after poem about my memories,
Because until then, I'm stuck with nothing but these.
-Allison S. De Arton
Just going through the motions, trying to hold on.
I won't lie, life has gotten rather boring,
If my life were a book and you were reading it, you'd be snoring.
I don't like that I have only a few things to look forward to.
I wish I was dating someone, so I could be excited about "seeing you".
I feel as though everything is just floating by,
And as I thought about this the other night, it made me cry.
I'm tired of being lonely and tired of missing all them.
I don't know how to fix that though, as surely I would have my friend.
Maybe something exciting is just around the corner.
Oh how joyous that would be, to put my life in order.
I guess until then I'll just have to wait.
Keep doing what I've been doing, and maybe this boredom appreciate.
I'll just keep going, and write poem after poem about my memories,
Because until then, I'm stuck with nothing but these.
-Allison S. De Arton
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
P.O.C.A.
I don't think I'll ever understand why you got so angry.
Maybe it was just an excuse to be rid of me.
I'd tell you now, if only I could
That I missed you a very long time, and it did me no good.
I don't get why you never called or why you never said sorry.
I guess that part doesn't matter, and I shouldn't worry.
I really liked you, I hope that part you know.
But oh how that's long gone and over, although its leaving was sure slow.
I would say I miss you, but it's not you I miss.
I miss the idea of you, and having a good looking boy to kiss.
I'm sorry I never really got to say goodbye,
But that didn't matter, you still made me cry.
So hopefully this will be the last thought of you for a while,
Because I'm too busy trying to fine a boy that will make me smile.
-Allison S. De Arton
Maybe it was just an excuse to be rid of me.
I'd tell you now, if only I could
That I missed you a very long time, and it did me no good.
I don't get why you never called or why you never said sorry.
I guess that part doesn't matter, and I shouldn't worry.
I really liked you, I hope that part you know.
But oh how that's long gone and over, although its leaving was sure slow.
I would say I miss you, but it's not you I miss.
I miss the idea of you, and having a good looking boy to kiss.
I'm sorry I never really got to say goodbye,
But that didn't matter, you still made me cry.
So hopefully this will be the last thought of you for a while,
Because I'm too busy trying to fine a boy that will make me smile.
-Allison S. De Arton
A Little Bit of Allison: The Past is Past
I haven't thought about a particular someone, to whom of which both poems this week are about, in quite a while. In fact, I hadn't thought of him in over a year. Until tonight of course. I don't know what sparked all the memories, but alas they came flooding in, and I found myself wishing to he back in those moments...for I feel I didn't enjoy them as much as I could have. I replay them in my head and wonder what I would give to relive that memory, and this time really breathe it in. Appreciate it for all it's worth.
This person and I were never really official, but boy did I love him. I met him the first day I moved to California and it took me months to get him out if my mind. When I moved home, it wasn't long before I started writing him his novel letter that I still keep hidden in a pocket in a folder stashed away. I think the letter is like 15 or 20 pages long. Anyways, obviously I really liked the kid.
As I thought about all this, I began to realize no matter how I wished or tortured myself with these memories, they'd never come to life. It's gone and over and there's nothing to be done, besides appreciate the fact I got the moments in the first place. I won't lie, I still miss the lad. Not as often as I used to of course, but enough to regret the way we ended. I don't remember why, I actually think I never knew why he ended it, but oh well. The past is past and it's over with. I will hold those memories close and cherish them when they decide to visit, but until then, accepting and moving on will have to do.
Thanks for reading!
-Allison
This person and I were never really official, but boy did I love him. I met him the first day I moved to California and it took me months to get him out if my mind. When I moved home, it wasn't long before I started writing him his novel letter that I still keep hidden in a pocket in a folder stashed away. I think the letter is like 15 or 20 pages long. Anyways, obviously I really liked the kid.
As I thought about all this, I began to realize no matter how I wished or tortured myself with these memories, they'd never come to life. It's gone and over and there's nothing to be done, besides appreciate the fact I got the moments in the first place. I won't lie, I still miss the lad. Not as often as I used to of course, but enough to regret the way we ended. I don't remember why, I actually think I never knew why he ended it, but oh well. The past is past and it's over with. I will hold those memories close and cherish them when they decide to visit, but until then, accepting and moving on will have to do.
Thanks for reading!
-Allison
Week 14: Memory
Here I am, living in our memory.
Dreaming of the time when it was you and me.
I remember it as if it were yesterday,
Although now almost two years have passed away.
You were the boy who was no good for me.
You were the one that I had to sneak around to see.
I convinced myself then that I loved you so.
I told myself it didn't matter, so there was no need to say no.
I remember after I moved home, I dreamt of you every night.
And as I lay there, I cried, holding onto my pillow so tight.
I missed you for what felt like an eternity,
And even now I miss those nights you'd come and see me.
Do you remember when we talked about what we love?
How I like the stars, and you like making shapes of the clouds above.
Oh what a dream, what a lovely thing we shared,
But now I'm trapped in our memory, wondering if you ever truly cared.
-Allison S. De Arton
Dreaming of the time when it was you and me.
I remember it as if it were yesterday,
Although now almost two years have passed away.
You were the boy who was no good for me.
You were the one that I had to sneak around to see.
I convinced myself then that I loved you so.
I told myself it didn't matter, so there was no need to say no.
I remember after I moved home, I dreamt of you every night.
And as I lay there, I cried, holding onto my pillow so tight.
I missed you for what felt like an eternity,
And even now I miss those nights you'd come and see me.
Do you remember when we talked about what we love?
How I like the stars, and you like making shapes of the clouds above.
Oh what a dream, what a lovely thing we shared,
But now I'm trapped in our memory, wondering if you ever truly cared.
-Allison S. De Arton
Sunday, November 18, 2012
A Little Bit Of Allison: Lazy
So, as you may notice, I'm not doing a P.O.C.A. poem tonight. I guess you could call it lazy, but my creative juices just aren't flowing.
I don't even have a lot to say on this blog, well except for sorry about last week!! I didn't have my computer and didn't have the patience to deal with the 10+ year-old one my parents own.
Life has been slow yet crazy lately. I don't know how that works, but it has been. I'm just going along for now, hopefully something exciting will happen soon.
I'm sorry this is so short, but like I said, I must be drained or something! Until next time!
-Allison
Week 13: A Solemn Prayer
Oh, give me the strength to go forth with this life.
Give me the courage to continue through strife.
Please help me through the waters, so unforgiving they are,
Please guide me to calmer shores, whether near or far.
I do not wish to be alone at this time,
I do wish for someone to be by my side.
Oh guide, Dear One, guide me to that place
Where I will know who he is, and see his face.
Don't leave me alone, in this, the darkest hour of mine.
Don't look away from my tears, or leave me to die.
I know I have gone astray and have done wrong,
But please forgive me and give me strength to go along.
This life is short, or so I've been told.
I guess I won't know until I've grown old,
But please, oh please, don't leave me to drown,
Please help me from this despair, don't let me fall down.
-Allison S. De Arton
Sunday, November 4, 2012
P.O.C.A.
I wish I could tell my fate or destiny or whatever you call it
That I was done and I'm ready for a change.
I wish I could choose exactly what comes into my life at this moment,
And simply tell this Fate which target is in it's range.
I would tell fate to make it happen, and make it happen now.
I would say I'm ready and waiting.
Fate would have to listen, and put the pieces in somehow,
And make each action worth repeating.
I would have the map all drawn out
Of exactly how my life should be.
I would point fate in the direction, North or South,
And Fate would listen to me.
If I could tell my destiny where it should go,
Oh how happy I would feel
Just to blatantly know
That I was making my dreams real.
Well, I guess no matter how I wish,
Fate will do it's own thing.
I guess that's part of this life we live,
Oh Fate, be nice to me.
-Allison S. De Arton
That I was done and I'm ready for a change.
I wish I could choose exactly what comes into my life at this moment,
And simply tell this Fate which target is in it's range.
I would tell fate to make it happen, and make it happen now.
I would say I'm ready and waiting.
Fate would have to listen, and put the pieces in somehow,
And make each action worth repeating.
I would have the map all drawn out
Of exactly how my life should be.
I would point fate in the direction, North or South,
And Fate would listen to me.
If I could tell my destiny where it should go,
Oh how happy I would feel
Just to blatantly know
That I was making my dreams real.
Well, I guess no matter how I wish,
Fate will do it's own thing.
I guess that's part of this life we live,
Oh Fate, be nice to me.
-Allison S. De Arton
Week 12: Food
I don't think I ever mentioned how much I love food.
It's probably the best thing ever, this much is true.
I like chips and salsa and sometimes dip.
I like cookies and brownies and ice cream with cool whip.
I love 4th of July and Thanksgiving because all you do is eat
And spend time with your family, but the food is a real treat.
I love making cookies or the best brownies you'll ever have.
I like making holiday goodies and drinks so delicious, it drives me mad.
I enjoy a good home cooked meal on a Sunday,
Sitting around with the family and eating it up is a good way
To start or end my week, whichever you prefer,
But I really hope that we still get some dessert.
I love food and my favorite would have to be
Chinese or Italian, those are the best for me.
I like orange chicken and fettucini alfredo,
They're what I always order, at each restaurant I go.
Speaking of food, it's about time for me to eat.
The dinner smells delectable, and with this meal, it'd be hard to compete.
So now that I've made myself most hungry indeed,
I'll go do what I do best, which is my hungry tummy to feed.
-Allison S. De Arton
It's probably the best thing ever, this much is true.
I like chips and salsa and sometimes dip.
I like cookies and brownies and ice cream with cool whip.
I love 4th of July and Thanksgiving because all you do is eat
And spend time with your family, but the food is a real treat.
I love making cookies or the best brownies you'll ever have.
I like making holiday goodies and drinks so delicious, it drives me mad.
I enjoy a good home cooked meal on a Sunday,
Sitting around with the family and eating it up is a good way
To start or end my week, whichever you prefer,
But I really hope that we still get some dessert.
I love food and my favorite would have to be
Chinese or Italian, those are the best for me.
I like orange chicken and fettucini alfredo,
They're what I always order, at each restaurant I go.
Speaking of food, it's about time for me to eat.
The dinner smells delectable, and with this meal, it'd be hard to compete.
So now that I've made myself most hungry indeed,
I'll go do what I do best, which is my hungry tummy to feed.
-Allison S. De Arton
Monday, October 29, 2012
P.O.C.A.
I could see myself sitting here years from now
Reflecting on this time and wondering how
I never got the courage to go out and change
This state I'm in, how I was too afraid to rearrange.
I could see myself frowning at the current status
And begging to know why I didn't give in to the madness.
I can see tears streaming down my face as I think how easy it would have been
If only I had the courage to do what I wanted to then.
I know people have their opinions on what I should do
But I'm tired of following what they say, instead of doing what I want to.
If I want to be a part of something or of someone's life,
Then sheesh, let me at least give it an honest try.
I don't want to be sitting here years from now,
Hating myself because I can't answer how
I didn't give it a shot when I very well could have.
I don't want to be lonely and drive myself mad.
So years from now I'll sit and be happy, because I did what I felt I should
Even when nobody thought I actually could.
-Allison S. De Arton
Reflecting on this time and wondering how
I never got the courage to go out and change
This state I'm in, how I was too afraid to rearrange.
I could see myself frowning at the current status
And begging to know why I didn't give in to the madness.
I can see tears streaming down my face as I think how easy it would have been
If only I had the courage to do what I wanted to then.
I know people have their opinions on what I should do
But I'm tired of following what they say, instead of doing what I want to.
If I want to be a part of something or of someone's life,
Then sheesh, let me at least give it an honest try.
I don't want to be sitting here years from now,
Hating myself because I can't answer how
I didn't give it a shot when I very well could have.
I don't want to be lonely and drive myself mad.
So years from now I'll sit and be happy, because I did what I felt I should
Even when nobody thought I actually could.
-Allison S. De Arton
Week 11: Soul-less
Many people claim that I don't have a soul.
They say this because of a certain episode on a certain show.
I used to get offended, trying to state I did,
But then reality set in and the truth could no longer be hid.
Yes, the rumors are not fake and reveal the secrets of a redhead.
I have no soul and might as well be dead.
Instead I steal yours so you can feel my pain,
But the only thing I get from you is another freckle gained.
Having no soul is quite the experience some might say,
But honestly it just makes it harder to go out during the day.
I love my red hair and wouldn't trade it for the world.
Some might say that makes me an odd kind of girl.
Oh well, their words don't bother me,
And I really hope you have fun this Halloween!
-Allison S. De Arton
They say this because of a certain episode on a certain show.
I used to get offended, trying to state I did,
But then reality set in and the truth could no longer be hid.
Yes, the rumors are not fake and reveal the secrets of a redhead.
I have no soul and might as well be dead.
Instead I steal yours so you can feel my pain,
But the only thing I get from you is another freckle gained.
Having no soul is quite the experience some might say,
But honestly it just makes it harder to go out during the day.
I love my red hair and wouldn't trade it for the world.
Some might say that makes me an odd kind of girl.
Oh well, their words don't bother me,
And I really hope you have fun this Halloween!
-Allison S. De Arton
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
A Little Bit of Allison: Time
I've always thought time was an interesting thing. The more I've thought about it though, the more crazy the concept of time actually is. Think about it, and you'll understand.
Time is such a major part of our lives. It governs pretty much everything we do. We wake up at a certain time. We go to work or school at a specific time. Meetings, tests, appointments...everything based on time. It's also very important to be "on time".
Another thing time has is answers. We've all heard the phrase "only time will tell" or "you'll see in time". This can either make us love time, or for people like me, hate it. I've always wanted to know what happens next, or who I will wake up next to for the rest of my life, or what my kids will look like. When I was in high school, I would always pray and ask if I could just wake up ten years from now and be there for five minutes, then I would be "good" for the rest of my days. Yeah, my wish was never granted.
There is also another thing time does. It heals. Yes, you read that correctly. Time has a mysterious way of fixing broken things. Broken hearts, broken friendships, and broken lives. Time has an interesting way of making the past hurt less, or seem less vivid. It has a way of making us forget or move on.
The final power of time that I'm going to blog about is time's ability for anticipation. Count downs for things such as the days until Christmas, your birthday, or the final seconds of the past year all give us a sense of excitement. I love the holidays for the sole purpose of the anticipated days that are all too short. Time has a way of making us wait, yet letting the fun times slip away all too quickly.
Well, thank you for taking the time (haha) to read this. Cheers!
-Allison
Time is such a major part of our lives. It governs pretty much everything we do. We wake up at a certain time. We go to work or school at a specific time. Meetings, tests, appointments...everything based on time. It's also very important to be "on time".
Another thing time has is answers. We've all heard the phrase "only time will tell" or "you'll see in time". This can either make us love time, or for people like me, hate it. I've always wanted to know what happens next, or who I will wake up next to for the rest of my life, or what my kids will look like. When I was in high school, I would always pray and ask if I could just wake up ten years from now and be there for five minutes, then I would be "good" for the rest of my days. Yeah, my wish was never granted.
There is also another thing time does. It heals. Yes, you read that correctly. Time has a mysterious way of fixing broken things. Broken hearts, broken friendships, and broken lives. Time has an interesting way of making the past hurt less, or seem less vivid. It has a way of making us forget or move on.
The final power of time that I'm going to blog about is time's ability for anticipation. Count downs for things such as the days until Christmas, your birthday, or the final seconds of the past year all give us a sense of excitement. I love the holidays for the sole purpose of the anticipated days that are all too short. Time has a way of making us wait, yet letting the fun times slip away all too quickly.
Well, thank you for taking the time (haha) to read this. Cheers!
-Allison
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Week 10: Forgotten
It's only been a little while,
But here I am trying to remember your smile.
You haven't called or sent a text.
I figured this would be what happened next.
I was kind of hoping we'd always be friends...
But now it looks like I don't matter to you, don't pretend.
I've messaged you a few times saying this or the other,
But alas no reply, I fear we've moved on from each other.
You were the one person who I would still call an acquaintance.
I didn't really think our friendship would need so much maintenance.
I feel as though I was a leaf in your life.
You watched it bloom and now that it's gone, you suffer no strife.
I drifted in the wind once the fall came and I fell from our tree,
But now I'm still drifting and you don't search after me.
Why was it that we had to become such very good mates?
I feel as though our time has now been wasted, as our lack of communication states.
Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter.
Your words were sweet, and me they did flatter,
But time is still going,
And a lack of interest in this "friendship" is all that you're showing.
-Allison S. De Arton
But here I am trying to remember your smile.
You haven't called or sent a text.
I figured this would be what happened next.
I was kind of hoping we'd always be friends...
But now it looks like I don't matter to you, don't pretend.
I've messaged you a few times saying this or the other,
But alas no reply, I fear we've moved on from each other.
You were the one person who I would still call an acquaintance.
I didn't really think our friendship would need so much maintenance.
I feel as though I was a leaf in your life.
You watched it bloom and now that it's gone, you suffer no strife.
I drifted in the wind once the fall came and I fell from our tree,
But now I'm still drifting and you don't search after me.
Why was it that we had to become such very good mates?
I feel as though our time has now been wasted, as our lack of communication states.
Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter.
Your words were sweet, and me they did flatter,
But time is still going,
And a lack of interest in this "friendship" is all that you're showing.
-Allison S. De Arton
Friday, October 19, 2012
P.O.C.A.
This one is a little late, but I'm glad I waited :) Here goes:
I didn't want it to turn out this way,
But I'm sitting all alone.
I don't have a friend or anyone
To call on my phone.
I look down at the screen,
So empty it appears.
I don't know what I'm doing,
No I don't know what I'm doing here.
It's colder and feels lonely now,
It's me against the world.
I'm waiting for the final blow,
For the ending to unfurl.
I hear the words she said,
As she was saying it wasn't fair.
Oh how I wish I could relive that moment,
And feel the love I felt there.
Oh little one, I hope you understand
That whatever decision I make,
It's with your best interest at hand.
I wait for the day when everything will be clear.
When all this sadness will be worth the joy
That I will hold close to me so dear.
So I end this now, as I close my eyes.
I'll step on to the battlefield
And take the hits with no surprise.
I do everything I do for one purpose alone
And that is to end up happy,
And to end up in a glorious home.
Allison S. De Arton
I didn't want it to turn out this way,
But I'm sitting all alone.
I don't have a friend or anyone
To call on my phone.
I look down at the screen,
So empty it appears.
I don't know what I'm doing,
No I don't know what I'm doing here.
It's colder and feels lonely now,
It's me against the world.
I'm waiting for the final blow,
For the ending to unfurl.
I hear the words she said,
As she was saying it wasn't fair.
Oh how I wish I could relive that moment,
And feel the love I felt there.
Oh little one, I hope you understand
That whatever decision I make,
It's with your best interest at hand.
I wait for the day when everything will be clear.
When all this sadness will be worth the joy
That I will hold close to me so dear.
So I end this now, as I close my eyes.
I'll step on to the battlefield
And take the hits with no surprise.
I do everything I do for one purpose alone
And that is to end up happy,
And to end up in a glorious home.
Allison S. De Arton
Monday, October 15, 2012
Week 9: Disappointed
I guess I should've seen this coming.
Not one, but two friends throw me to the ground running.
I should've thought this would happen to me
Since they weren't great friends in the first place, you see.
I think I knew in the back of my mind,
That all this would happen in due time.
To be honest, I had hoped it wouldn't.
But alas I was a fool for thinking it couldn't.
What is a friend anyhow?
Is it someone who will let you down?
I used to think no, but now I'm unsure,
For it seems those friendships are left a blur.
You did what any friend should never do.
No, it doesn't matter what I've done to you.
Why? Because that's the point, I said I was sorry.
But that didn't stop you from hurting me harshly.
When it came down to it, you didn't even care.
You said "be careful who you trust" like I wasn't even there.
I'm tired of these games, and when you suddenly get mad.
I hate how these friendships now just make me sad.
Who knows what I will do, because I always seem to forgive.
If I didn't, with myself I just couldn't live.
So I guess I'll pretend like they didn't hurt me,
And make the lines of hurt and pain quite blurry.
-Allison S. De Arton
Not one, but two friends throw me to the ground running.
I should've thought this would happen to me
Since they weren't great friends in the first place, you see.
I think I knew in the back of my mind,
That all this would happen in due time.
To be honest, I had hoped it wouldn't.
But alas I was a fool for thinking it couldn't.
What is a friend anyhow?
Is it someone who will let you down?
I used to think no, but now I'm unsure,
For it seems those friendships are left a blur.
You did what any friend should never do.
No, it doesn't matter what I've done to you.
Why? Because that's the point, I said I was sorry.
But that didn't stop you from hurting me harshly.
When it came down to it, you didn't even care.
You said "be careful who you trust" like I wasn't even there.
I'm tired of these games, and when you suddenly get mad.
I hate how these friendships now just make me sad.
Who knows what I will do, because I always seem to forgive.
If I didn't, with myself I just couldn't live.
So I guess I'll pretend like they didn't hurt me,
And make the lines of hurt and pain quite blurry.
-Allison S. De Arton
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
A Little Bit of Allison: The Power of a Song
Music is a very interesting thing. We all listen to it, whether it's rap, heavy metal, country, alternative, classical, or even dubstep. It seems there is a genre for everyone. I am a huge fan of music. I won't lie, I don't classify country, scream-o, or extremely heavy metal as music. That's just my opinion though. We are all entitled to one.
I was cleaning my living room today when a song played on my laptop. I had it on shuffle, so it was random. The song was a song someone and I once shared as "our song". I thought it was interesting that this simple song invited a flood of memories. So it got me thinking, how much power does music actually have? Well, a lot. It's the same with scents I've noticed. I used a certain shampoo that I used to buy all the time in high school, and it made me think of all the things going on in my life at that time.
Music is used all the time. Everywhere. It's used on television shows, commercials, movies, even political campaigns. It captures our attention and gives us a certain emotion, which is exactly what the creators want. If you watch a scary movie, it isn't half as scary if you take the music out. Intense moments in television are set up by a song that has you on the edge of your seat.
So this simple song that came on my computer set the mood for my cleaning. I didn't change it. Instead I relived the moments in my mind. Cherishing them as they switched from one memory to the next. One could say it made me sad, which I wouldn't disagree with that one. But I enjoyed the fact I was able to create those memories, those special moments, than to not have been able to live them at all.
Yes indeed music has an enchanting power over us, but I do believe it helps make life's moments even more fruitful.
Enjoy the next song you listen to, whatever influence it has on you.
-Allison
I was cleaning my living room today when a song played on my laptop. I had it on shuffle, so it was random. The song was a song someone and I once shared as "our song". I thought it was interesting that this simple song invited a flood of memories. So it got me thinking, how much power does music actually have? Well, a lot. It's the same with scents I've noticed. I used a certain shampoo that I used to buy all the time in high school, and it made me think of all the things going on in my life at that time.
Music is used all the time. Everywhere. It's used on television shows, commercials, movies, even political campaigns. It captures our attention and gives us a certain emotion, which is exactly what the creators want. If you watch a scary movie, it isn't half as scary if you take the music out. Intense moments in television are set up by a song that has you on the edge of your seat.
So this simple song that came on my computer set the mood for my cleaning. I didn't change it. Instead I relived the moments in my mind. Cherishing them as they switched from one memory to the next. One could say it made me sad, which I wouldn't disagree with that one. But I enjoyed the fact I was able to create those memories, those special moments, than to not have been able to live them at all.
Yes indeed music has an enchanting power over us, but I do believe it helps make life's moments even more fruitful.
Enjoy the next song you listen to, whatever influence it has on you.
-Allison
Monday, October 8, 2012
A Little Bit Of Allison: Moving On
I figured I would title my blog posts so everyone would know it wasn't a poem. So now all my little tidbits are going to be called "A Little Bit Of Allison". So this weeks segment is on Moving On. Fitting, right?
Well, as I mentioned in my apology post, I moved recently. It was alright, just busy and realizing I have more stuff than I thought. My room as of right now is a disaster, and anyone could probably mistake it for some sort of dump or D.I. room. Basically I have my clothes and everything everywhere. The only carpet you can see is the small pathway I made for myself so I can get to my bed. Pity.
I've had a lot of time to reflect. Pretty much every night before I go to sleep, I ask myself, "What do you want to think about tonight Allison?" and I pick something. Sometimes this leads to me texting a random friend or person that I'll regret texting the next morning. Ah well though. Sometimes I can get good conversations out of these regretful people.
Well, last night I decided to think a lot about a particular person. I know what you're thinking and no, it was actually not about my Yellow Zebra. It seems that Tim man doesn't occupy much of my thoughts anymore. (Maybe that has to do with the move, who knows..)I thought mainly about the boy who all these sad love poems are about. The man who had my heart, and to this day still has a piece of it. His name is the title of one of the poems, just to catch you up.
To give you a brief history, this boy and I dated for about 5 months if you add it all together. Yes, we participated in the break-up-get-back-together madness for a little while. The first time he ended it, the second me, and the third and final time was him again. We weren't ever official again after the first break up, but nonetheless we were going on dates and acting like a couple.
I have a lot of cherished memories with this boy. He was a major part of my life. We had inside jokes, things to talk about, and a chemistry that many envied. He was indeed my everything.
Over the last while after he put a caboose to the whole thing, I've been trying to believe the statement, "We will never, ever get back together.". I listen to that Taylor Swift song day in and day out to make myself angry with him and pretend like I hate him or something. The sad part is, I'm not mad at him, and I unfortunately don't hate him.
There is slight animosity that rises within me when I think about him though, and that's because his reasoning for ending it with me a final time. That's just it though, he won't give me a reason for doing it. He claims it's his business and he doesn't want to talk about it. Ok, I may have a slight idea why, but still. It isn't a valid reason.
So, moving on. It's very much easier said than done. I have tried being in love with other boys (like my Yellow Zebra), thinking about other things..(like my Yellow Zebra), and even hanging out with other influences...(once again, like my Yellow Zebra), but none of these efforts seem fruitful! I am defeated and at a loss. I still find my mind wandering back into his arms, wishing it was really there.
I think the hardest part about moving on is that we don't know what's coming next. We aren't sure if it really will be ok. If things will actually work out. For all we know, we'll be alone for the rest of our lives dwelling on the mistake we made to make us alone in the first place! Ah, the madness!
All I know is that it'll take time. I suppose time is one thing I have a metric boat load of, so I guess I'm set.
I'll always remember his kiss and his smile, but until I meet someone better, I'll be alone. Here in my chair, posting my poems. Writing about my life, but doing all this...
Alone.
Well, I guess that's all for now! Thank you for reading!
-Allison
Well, as I mentioned in my apology post, I moved recently. It was alright, just busy and realizing I have more stuff than I thought. My room as of right now is a disaster, and anyone could probably mistake it for some sort of dump or D.I. room. Basically I have my clothes and everything everywhere. The only carpet you can see is the small pathway I made for myself so I can get to my bed. Pity.
I've had a lot of time to reflect. Pretty much every night before I go to sleep, I ask myself, "What do you want to think about tonight Allison?" and I pick something. Sometimes this leads to me texting a random friend or person that I'll regret texting the next morning. Ah well though. Sometimes I can get good conversations out of these regretful people.
Well, last night I decided to think a lot about a particular person. I know what you're thinking and no, it was actually not about my Yellow Zebra. It seems that Tim man doesn't occupy much of my thoughts anymore. (Maybe that has to do with the move, who knows..)I thought mainly about the boy who all these sad love poems are about. The man who had my heart, and to this day still has a piece of it. His name is the title of one of the poems, just to catch you up.
To give you a brief history, this boy and I dated for about 5 months if you add it all together. Yes, we participated in the break-up-get-back-together madness for a little while. The first time he ended it, the second me, and the third and final time was him again. We weren't ever official again after the first break up, but nonetheless we were going on dates and acting like a couple.
I have a lot of cherished memories with this boy. He was a major part of my life. We had inside jokes, things to talk about, and a chemistry that many envied. He was indeed my everything.
Over the last while after he put a caboose to the whole thing, I've been trying to believe the statement, "We will never, ever get back together.". I listen to that Taylor Swift song day in and day out to make myself angry with him and pretend like I hate him or something. The sad part is, I'm not mad at him, and I unfortunately don't hate him.
There is slight animosity that rises within me when I think about him though, and that's because his reasoning for ending it with me a final time. That's just it though, he won't give me a reason for doing it. He claims it's his business and he doesn't want to talk about it. Ok, I may have a slight idea why, but still. It isn't a valid reason.
So, moving on. It's very much easier said than done. I have tried being in love with other boys (like my Yellow Zebra), thinking about other things..(like my Yellow Zebra), and even hanging out with other influences...(once again, like my Yellow Zebra), but none of these efforts seem fruitful! I am defeated and at a loss. I still find my mind wandering back into his arms, wishing it was really there.
I think the hardest part about moving on is that we don't know what's coming next. We aren't sure if it really will be ok. If things will actually work out. For all we know, we'll be alone for the rest of our lives dwelling on the mistake we made to make us alone in the first place! Ah, the madness!
All I know is that it'll take time. I suppose time is one thing I have a metric boat load of, so I guess I'm set.
I'll always remember his kiss and his smile, but until I meet someone better, I'll be alone. Here in my chair, posting my poems. Writing about my life, but doing all this...
Alone.
Well, I guess that's all for now! Thank you for reading!
-Allison
Sunday, October 7, 2012
P.O.C.A.
I'll be quite blunt, this poem was not fun.
I can't seem to think of something to write about,
Not two things, not one.
I saw a movie just the other night,
That inspired me to write like this,
All simple, and tight.
As you might guess, it was indeed
A Dr. Seuss movie,
That gave me this need.
I like the quote he had,
It made me happy,
And still a little sad.
I thought about my life and where it's going.
It's not going down,
But not up as it seems to be showing.
Every poem I've written in the past while,
Has been about a certain someone,
His heart and his smile.
I don't recall the last time I wrote
Simply to write, and rhyme
With words like boat.
So I suppose this is it,
The poem with no meaning.
It'll have to do this time,
So happy reading!
Allison S. De Arton
Week 8: Alone
It seems as though I'm doing this alone.
No one to stand by me,
Or pick up the phone.
When the night time rolls in,
It feels all too real.
I wish you were here,
Your warm hand I'd feel.
I know I messed up, and caused this break.
I repeatedly write about it,
For I realize it was a mistake.
If only you'd listen to the words from my heart,
I know we could try again with a brand new start.
Things would have to be different this time,
For last it didn't work, this we both know.
I promise I'll try harder,
And not let you so easily go.
Do you not feel it too?
The loneliness creeping in?
It burdens my every thought,
Relentlessly reminding me of my sin.
I want you to know I'll never really move on,
Though each poem I write,
Indicates I have, or will soon be strong.
These are just my ways of coping.
I'll always be here,
For your heart I'm hoping.
Every time I try to say goodbye,
The Lonely Monster comes,
And drowns my eyes.
I won't say it now, for I'll never truly leave.
I miss you love,
Please come back to me.
Allison S. De Arton
No one to stand by me,
Or pick up the phone.
When the night time rolls in,
It feels all too real.
I wish you were here,
Your warm hand I'd feel.
I know I messed up, and caused this break.
I repeatedly write about it,
For I realize it was a mistake.
If only you'd listen to the words from my heart,
I know we could try again with a brand new start.
Things would have to be different this time,
For last it didn't work, this we both know.
I promise I'll try harder,
And not let you so easily go.
Do you not feel it too?
The loneliness creeping in?
It burdens my every thought,
Relentlessly reminding me of my sin.
I want you to know I'll never really move on,
Though each poem I write,
Indicates I have, or will soon be strong.
These are just my ways of coping.
I'll always be here,
For your heart I'm hoping.
Every time I try to say goodbye,
The Lonely Monster comes,
And drowns my eyes.
I won't say it now, for I'll never truly leave.
I miss you love,
Please come back to me.
Allison S. De Arton
Thursday, October 4, 2012
P.O.C.A.
I remember you and me.
I remember your smile, you being happy.
I remember the times you held my hand.
I remember feeling so grand.
I still wish those days were here.
I still miss you, miss you so my dear.
If only you knew what went through my mind
When I think about you every night.
I wish you could be here, helping me.
Only you would understand what I need.
I miss your blue eyes and bright smile.
I miss knowing I was worth your while.
What ever happened to you and I?
What ever happened to "never say goodbye"?
I feel as though all my poems these days
Are about you, in various ways.
I miss looking up at you, and knowing you were mine.
I miss spending hours with you, getting lost in time.
Remember when you said you loved me?
Remember when our future was all you could see?
I know our past has damages and breaks,
But we could make it work, whatever it takes.
If only you had the same determination as I,
Then this could really happen, no doubt in my mind.
I won't say goodbye and end this now.
I'll hold on to the hope you'll turn around,
Come back to me, and want things to change.
Until then, I'll just rearrange.
-Allison S. De Arton
I remember your smile, you being happy.
I remember the times you held my hand.
I remember feeling so grand.
I still wish those days were here.
I still miss you, miss you so my dear.
If only you knew what went through my mind
When I think about you every night.
I wish you could be here, helping me.
Only you would understand what I need.
I miss your blue eyes and bright smile.
I miss knowing I was worth your while.
What ever happened to you and I?
What ever happened to "never say goodbye"?
I feel as though all my poems these days
Are about you, in various ways.
I miss looking up at you, and knowing you were mine.
I miss spending hours with you, getting lost in time.
Remember when you said you loved me?
Remember when our future was all you could see?
I know our past has damages and breaks,
But we could make it work, whatever it takes.
If only you had the same determination as I,
Then this could really happen, no doubt in my mind.
I won't say goodbye and end this now.
I'll hold on to the hope you'll turn around,
Come back to me, and want things to change.
Until then, I'll just rearrange.
-Allison S. De Arton
Week 7: Lost
It's hard to feel like I haven't lost
When I didn't win, I didn't gain
Not a single bit with my cost.
It's hard to feel like I haven't be defeated
When I'm left with nothing,
Just my failure repeated.
It's hard to say I'm alright
When the reminder is there
In plain sight.
I can't help but feel that I've lost
This game I kept playing,
The game whose results were tossed.
I don't think you cheated,
Although I know you always knew
In the end I wouldn't feel completed.
So I'll accept my fail.
Watch you go on without a care,
Adding other women to your tale.
So I've lost, it's done.
I guess it was silly of me
To think I could've won.
-Allison S. De Arton
When I didn't win, I didn't gain
Not a single bit with my cost.
It's hard to feel like I haven't be defeated
When I'm left with nothing,
Just my failure repeated.
It's hard to say I'm alright
When the reminder is there
In plain sight.
I can't help but feel that I've lost
This game I kept playing,
The game whose results were tossed.
I don't think you cheated,
Although I know you always knew
In the end I wouldn't feel completed.
So I'll accept my fail.
Watch you go on without a care,
Adding other women to your tale.
So I've lost, it's done.
I guess it was silly of me
To think I could've won.
-Allison S. De Arton
Sorry!!
Once again, sorry I am so late with my posts this week. I moved back to Idaho over the weekend and I've been pretty busy all week. Anyways, hopefully my poems will make up for it :)
-Allison
-Allison
Friday, September 28, 2012
Yellow Zebra
The concept of a Yellow Zebra is quite sad. It's something that is tangible, like a person, that one desires, but one will never attain.
Most people have a Yellow Zebra. It's someone you're in love with and will never be with. So, I am going to dedicate this post to my Yellow Zebra. I feel slightly bad and a little awkward because my Yellow Zebra reads my blog...and will know full well this is about him. Ah well, I guess I don't care.
To start off, let me just tell you how amazing my Yellow Zebra is. We'll call him.. Tim. I don't know any Tims. Well, Tim is quite attractive. Probably one of the more attractive people I've ever seen. There's something about his smile that is captivating. His dark eyes can see into your soul, I swear. And yet when they're looking into mine, I can't help but gaze back. Tim is funny. He makes me laugh a lot. He and I share a sense of humor that I've never had with anyone. Tim is also easy to talk to. We talk a lot, and about pretty much everything. I feel comfortable talking to him about all sorts of things, and telling him things I don't even tell my best friend.
When I first met Tim, I was actually dating someone. I didn't let that get in the way of developing a relationship with him, though. I don't think there's anyone out there that gets me like Tim does. He seems to know what I'm thinking before even I do.
I could go on about why I'm madly in love with Tim, but instead I'll tell you the sad part of this story. The part that makes Tim a Yellow Zebra.
I won't mention when, but there was an evening Tim and I spent together. I got all cute and, I won't lie, I looked pretty good. He came and picked me up. We went to a film and enjoyed it, at least I did. Well, then Tim and I went to his house and talked for a bit. Oh my little heart did hope. I just wanted one kiss, ONE kiss out of this guy. I did all I could..what with all the flirting...trying to sit close. I'm telling you people, I worked as hard as I could, but Tim was unbreakable. There was no way he was going to kiss me. So finally he said he was going to take me home. I got into the car, and I won't lie, I fought my hardest to not cry. I'm quite the warrior, so I was able to choke back the tears until I shut my bedroom door.
Now, this situation is only sad because of the facts behind it. Tim and I have been friends since February '12. I have been in love with him for the same amount of time. When he didn't kiss me that night, it was more than him saying no. It was Tim admitting there was no future with us, and there never would be.
So to all of you who have a Yellow Zebra, hopefully you'll find a white one who is better looking. :) To finding White Zebras!
Allison S. De Arton
Most people have a Yellow Zebra. It's someone you're in love with and will never be with. So, I am going to dedicate this post to my Yellow Zebra. I feel slightly bad and a little awkward because my Yellow Zebra reads my blog...and will know full well this is about him. Ah well, I guess I don't care.
To start off, let me just tell you how amazing my Yellow Zebra is. We'll call him.. Tim. I don't know any Tims. Well, Tim is quite attractive. Probably one of the more attractive people I've ever seen. There's something about his smile that is captivating. His dark eyes can see into your soul, I swear. And yet when they're looking into mine, I can't help but gaze back. Tim is funny. He makes me laugh a lot. He and I share a sense of humor that I've never had with anyone. Tim is also easy to talk to. We talk a lot, and about pretty much everything. I feel comfortable talking to him about all sorts of things, and telling him things I don't even tell my best friend.
When I first met Tim, I was actually dating someone. I didn't let that get in the way of developing a relationship with him, though. I don't think there's anyone out there that gets me like Tim does. He seems to know what I'm thinking before even I do.
I could go on about why I'm madly in love with Tim, but instead I'll tell you the sad part of this story. The part that makes Tim a Yellow Zebra.
I won't mention when, but there was an evening Tim and I spent together. I got all cute and, I won't lie, I looked pretty good. He came and picked me up. We went to a film and enjoyed it, at least I did. Well, then Tim and I went to his house and talked for a bit. Oh my little heart did hope. I just wanted one kiss, ONE kiss out of this guy. I did all I could..what with all the flirting...trying to sit close. I'm telling you people, I worked as hard as I could, but Tim was unbreakable. There was no way he was going to kiss me. So finally he said he was going to take me home. I got into the car, and I won't lie, I fought my hardest to not cry. I'm quite the warrior, so I was able to choke back the tears until I shut my bedroom door.
Now, this situation is only sad because of the facts behind it. Tim and I have been friends since February '12. I have been in love with him for the same amount of time. When he didn't kiss me that night, it was more than him saying no. It was Tim admitting there was no future with us, and there never would be.
So to all of you who have a Yellow Zebra, hopefully you'll find a white one who is better looking. :) To finding White Zebras!
Allison S. De Arton
Sunday, September 23, 2012
P.O.C.A.
It's an interesting thing, this life we live.
We take all we can, and do our best to give.
It can get hard and lonely, and sometimes sad,
But when we stop and think, we're grateful for what we have.
The joy of life is simple yet hard to understand.
It can be a lesson learned, or something unplanned.
Life has it's own way of showing us new things.
Sometimes it's happy, this story it brings.
"I wish I knew then what I know now,"
Is a common phrase for us all somehow.
Yet if I really knew then what I know now,
Where would the learning be, where all the "how"?
Yes there are times where I look back and cringe,
But I keep moving forward, and not let my past, my future hinge.
I feel that if I stop and really think,
I'll find plenty of joy in my life, and it won't really stink.
So many things to be grateful for in this challenging time,
How lucky I am that this life is mine.
I look at it proudly, with a smile on my face,
For no one is me, and I cannot be replaced.
We take all we can, and do our best to give.
It can get hard and lonely, and sometimes sad,
But when we stop and think, we're grateful for what we have.
The joy of life is simple yet hard to understand.
It can be a lesson learned, or something unplanned.
Life has it's own way of showing us new things.
Sometimes it's happy, this story it brings.
"I wish I knew then what I know now,"
Is a common phrase for us all somehow.
Yet if I really knew then what I know now,
Where would the learning be, where all the "how"?
Yes there are times where I look back and cringe,
But I keep moving forward, and not let my past, my future hinge.
I feel that if I stop and really think,
I'll find plenty of joy in my life, and it won't really stink.
So many things to be grateful for in this challenging time,
How lucky I am that this life is mine.
I look at it proudly, with a smile on my face,
For no one is me, and I cannot be replaced.
Week 6: Autumn
There is something about the Autumn air
That brings in new joy everywhere.
I love the trees and their color change,
I love the new season, time to rearrange.
New books and pens, and pencils too.
New stories about the summer for you.
I love when Halloween is near,
So ready for the holidays, I make that clear.
Walking outside in the morning breeze
Makes me happy, so happy indeed.
There's another aspect to Fall that I love
It's something hard to describe, hard to paint a picture of.
I love the environment of starting new.
Of new beginnings, new times without you.
It may seem harsh to word it like that,
But now is my time to completely come back.
Whether in school, or at work, or play,
I now get to be me, every single day.
No worries or cares about the past,
Just my life going, oh so fast.
Fall has its moments of sadness as well,
But I know the next morning, I'll be happy as far as anyone can tell.
I can't wait to carve pumpkins, all orange and round.
I love the leaves I walk on, crunching on the ground.
Autumn, I'm so glad you're here,
I can't wait for the holiday season, oh it's so very near.
Allison S. De Arton
That brings in new joy everywhere.
I love the trees and their color change,
I love the new season, time to rearrange.
New books and pens, and pencils too.
New stories about the summer for you.
I love when Halloween is near,
So ready for the holidays, I make that clear.
Walking outside in the morning breeze
Makes me happy, so happy indeed.
There's another aspect to Fall that I love
It's something hard to describe, hard to paint a picture of.
I love the environment of starting new.
Of new beginnings, new times without you.
It may seem harsh to word it like that,
But now is my time to completely come back.
Whether in school, or at work, or play,
I now get to be me, every single day.
No worries or cares about the past,
Just my life going, oh so fast.
Fall has its moments of sadness as well,
But I know the next morning, I'll be happy as far as anyone can tell.
I can't wait to carve pumpkins, all orange and round.
I love the leaves I walk on, crunching on the ground.
Autumn, I'm so glad you're here,
I can't wait for the holiday season, oh it's so very near.
Allison S. De Arton
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
A Change of Tides
This time in my life is proving to be nothing but more and more interesting/intense. Life has thrown all sorts of curve balls and I don't know the best way to handle them, except for one at a time. So I'm going to move back to Idaho as soon as work will let me. I decided I didn't get quite enough time with the good old mom and dad, so I'll take this time to be with them. I wanted to wait until November, but alas, now I want to go as soon as I can.
I used to love my job. Correction, I still do, just a little less now. I'm sure every work place has a similar situation. I just think that I'm the center of the rumor mill and I'm not a fan. To top it off, a close friend kind of set me to the curb and that made it even more fun. Now, why am I posting about this on my blog? Well, I always like to write about my life lessons as I'm learning them. This friend and I have an interesting relationship. He is someone who understands me on a level that I'm not sure even I get. So when he does something to make me mad, it's worse than your average Joe. What I've learned from all this is that people are going to be people. Don't give them more credit. I know that sounds harsh, but no one is perfect. I think for the longest time I expected this close friend to be perfect. I expected him to be everything I thought him to be. And when he wasn't, I was the only one left disappointed.
I know this may seem harsher than my previous posts, but I'm all about honesty. I'm only twenty and I feel like I know things that some of my thirty year old friends are still trying to piece together. I know that makes me sound like I'm conceited, but aren't we all at this age? This month has been one of the most trying ones of my life, and I've found that there are few that are actually here for me. Which is why I have to remember people will always be people. If they weren't, then we wouldn't be here.
I have few friends like I mentioned that have seen me through most of what I'm going through. A lot of it I need to do on my own, such is life, but the friends I have still try. One of those is Jelena Nikolic. Her and I have quite the friendship. It's definitely one of the more unique ones I've ever had. One minute we are at each other's throats, then the next we are holding each other crying. She has seen me through my darkest times. Whether it be an ex boyfriend, a mean girl, or some stupid person from work, she always has my back. Even though we get fiesty with each other sometimes, she's always there for me. And I'm there for her too. I've never cried with a friend before until Jelena. Her and I can talk about anything. She probably knows more about my life than some of my sisters. Sad, right? Haha. She's definitely been the best friend I've needed in my life right now. Our fights never last more than a day. I don't know where I'd be without that woman. She has seen me through so much and continues to help me through this terrible time.
When I say terrible time, I'm mainly referring to right now. I just had a bad day and really...in the grand scheme of things..my life is quite fantastic. Yes it's going where I never expected it to, but I'm enjoying the surprises.
Well, I thank you for your time. I hope you gained some insight and you enjoyed my blog! Cheerio!
Allison S. De Arton
I used to love my job. Correction, I still do, just a little less now. I'm sure every work place has a similar situation. I just think that I'm the center of the rumor mill and I'm not a fan. To top it off, a close friend kind of set me to the curb and that made it even more fun. Now, why am I posting about this on my blog? Well, I always like to write about my life lessons as I'm learning them. This friend and I have an interesting relationship. He is someone who understands me on a level that I'm not sure even I get. So when he does something to make me mad, it's worse than your average Joe. What I've learned from all this is that people are going to be people. Don't give them more credit. I know that sounds harsh, but no one is perfect. I think for the longest time I expected this close friend to be perfect. I expected him to be everything I thought him to be. And when he wasn't, I was the only one left disappointed.
I know this may seem harsher than my previous posts, but I'm all about honesty. I'm only twenty and I feel like I know things that some of my thirty year old friends are still trying to piece together. I know that makes me sound like I'm conceited, but aren't we all at this age? This month has been one of the most trying ones of my life, and I've found that there are few that are actually here for me. Which is why I have to remember people will always be people. If they weren't, then we wouldn't be here.
I have few friends like I mentioned that have seen me through most of what I'm going through. A lot of it I need to do on my own, such is life, but the friends I have still try. One of those is Jelena Nikolic. Her and I have quite the friendship. It's definitely one of the more unique ones I've ever had. One minute we are at each other's throats, then the next we are holding each other crying. She has seen me through my darkest times. Whether it be an ex boyfriend, a mean girl, or some stupid person from work, she always has my back. Even though we get fiesty with each other sometimes, she's always there for me. And I'm there for her too. I've never cried with a friend before until Jelena. Her and I can talk about anything. She probably knows more about my life than some of my sisters. Sad, right? Haha. She's definitely been the best friend I've needed in my life right now. Our fights never last more than a day. I don't know where I'd be without that woman. She has seen me through so much and continues to help me through this terrible time.
When I say terrible time, I'm mainly referring to right now. I just had a bad day and really...in the grand scheme of things..my life is quite fantastic. Yes it's going where I never expected it to, but I'm enjoying the surprises.
Well, I thank you for your time. I hope you gained some insight and you enjoyed my blog! Cheerio!
Allison S. De Arton
Monday, September 17, 2012
P.O.C.A.
You
You make me happy.
You make me laugh.
You make me smile,
Even when I'm mad.
You listen to me
When all I do is complain.
Kissing you is one thing
From which I must refrain.
Your smile is so sincere
So genuine at heart.
I knew I was in love with you
When I met you from the start.
Simple phrases to express how I feel,
I hope they don't scare you,
Since they're all too real.
I'll hold on to them tightly,
Although I'm sure you already know.
I'll dream of our "one day",
Until then, I'll let go.
Allison S. De Arton
You make me happy.
You make me laugh.
You make me smile,
Even when I'm mad.
You listen to me
When all I do is complain.
Kissing you is one thing
From which I must refrain.
Your smile is so sincere
So genuine at heart.
I knew I was in love with you
When I met you from the start.
Simple phrases to express how I feel,
I hope they don't scare you,
Since they're all too real.
I'll hold on to them tightly,
Although I'm sure you already know.
I'll dream of our "one day",
Until then, I'll let go.
Allison S. De Arton
So Sorry! /// Torn: Week 5
I've had quite the week and was sick all day yesterday, so my apologies for not posting on Wednesday or yesterday. I hope these two poems will make it up!!
TORN
I want to talk to you.
I want us to be friends.
I want to see you again.
I don't want to be used as a means to an end.
I'm tired of these games we play.
I'm tired of those words you wouldn't say.
I'm tired of the pain I feel.
I'm not tired of this feeling, feeling of real.
These tears won't stop falling.
These tears stream down my face.
These tears result from your lack of calling.
These fake laughs are my only embrace.
I hear their whispers loud and clear.
I hear their reasonings as to why you're not here.
I hear my heart loudly pound.
I don't hear your voice, that melodic sound.
I guess I'll have to let go now.
I guess I'll say goodbye.
I guess I'll forget you somehow, because
I know you will no longer be the influence of my cry.
Allison S. De Arton
TORN
I want to talk to you.
I want us to be friends.
I want to see you again.
I don't want to be used as a means to an end.
I'm tired of these games we play.
I'm tired of those words you wouldn't say.
I'm tired of the pain I feel.
I'm not tired of this feeling, feeling of real.
These tears won't stop falling.
These tears stream down my face.
These tears result from your lack of calling.
These fake laughs are my only embrace.
I hear their whispers loud and clear.
I hear their reasonings as to why you're not here.
I hear my heart loudly pound.
I don't hear your voice, that melodic sound.
I guess I'll have to let go now.
I guess I'll say goodbye.
I guess I'll forget you somehow, because
I know you will no longer be the influence of my cry.
Allison S. De Arton
Sunday, September 9, 2012
P.O.C.A.
Love and hope,
on this downward slope.
Up and downs,
these smiles and frowns.
I missed you then,
I miss you now,
But I can't tell you,
even through this cloud.
You're gone this time,
This time forever
Even though now I realize,
It's for the better.
I loved you,
With the fullest love
But now I see,
It could never be enough.
So here it is,
my last poem to you
Goodbye old friend, goodbye.
I'll miss you.
Allison S. De Arton
Week 4: For Chris
I know that there's nothing left to say,
Yet somehow I still want to call you everyday.
I know I can't change our past, better yet our future,
But somehow I still wish it could be you in my wedding picture.
I know I'll have to let go of this state of madness,
I guess I just found that you were the root of my happiness.
I know that I need to say goodbye and move on,
But it seems you're stuck in my head like an annoying song.
I know you're gone, and gone for good this time,
I know one day you'll find joy in not being mine.
So here's my final beg and plea to you...
Don't regret anything, or whatever I was to you.
Allison S. De Arton
Yet somehow I still want to call you everyday.
I know I can't change our past, better yet our future,
But somehow I still wish it could be you in my wedding picture.
I know I'll have to let go of this state of madness,
I guess I just found that you were the root of my happiness.
I know that I need to say goodbye and move on,
But it seems you're stuck in my head like an annoying song.
I know you're gone, and gone for good this time,
I know one day you'll find joy in not being mine.
So here's my final beg and plea to you...
Don't regret anything, or whatever I was to you.
Allison S. De Arton
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Zen
This week has been quite the interesting one. I've had an Idaho trip planned for some time now, and it finally came. I came up for my birthday, then went back to Utah to work and then back to Idaho for my week long vacation. Well, on my way to Idaho the first time, (on my actual birthday) my car decided to break down half way between Idaho Falls and Salt Lake in a middle-of-no-where town called Malad. So I got to take a nice little nap on the side of I-15 for two hours while my parents came out to my rescue. My poor little Herrman (car) is in Malad right now being fixed. It'll be done by Sunday when I head home.
So this week has thus far been an interesting one. I can't decide if it has been hectic or relaxing. On one hand, I slept for 13 hours the first day I was here. So that was fantastic. But then it feels like I've been running around doing things all day, every day. It's only Wednesday and I'm ready to go back to Utah. Idaho has that effect on people, though, so I'm not too surprised.
Today I went on a bike ride. It was on my awesome beach cruiser I got for my 17th birthday, it has a basket and everything. Anyways, I was riding and thinking and there's no better place to do that than here in good old Idaho. The day was nice and there was a breeze. I feel so poetic just describing the day, haha, but it was quite enjoyable. As I thought about everything that's happening in my life, a sort of peace happened. I don't really know how to describe it other than using the word Zen. I've never really done that kind of stuff, but it seems that that's the only word to describe the feeling. It was so nice to be in a state of complete calmness that I couldn't help but come home and blog about it.
With this state of "zen", I also came up with a few good poems that will have to (unfortunately) wait until Sunday. I also came up with the conclusion that no matter how crazy life gets, it always goes on. I'm sure that's been said a million times, but actually believing it is the key. And today, I finally believed it.
Well, after all this, I still have half a week left here in Idaho. I hope it goes by fast so I can get to work at 7am on Monday morning. Why I'm scheduled that early, I have no idea. Anyways, thanks for reading! :)
Allison S. De Arton
So this week has thus far been an interesting one. I can't decide if it has been hectic or relaxing. On one hand, I slept for 13 hours the first day I was here. So that was fantastic. But then it feels like I've been running around doing things all day, every day. It's only Wednesday and I'm ready to go back to Utah. Idaho has that effect on people, though, so I'm not too surprised.
Today I went on a bike ride. It was on my awesome beach cruiser I got for my 17th birthday, it has a basket and everything. Anyways, I was riding and thinking and there's no better place to do that than here in good old Idaho. The day was nice and there was a breeze. I feel so poetic just describing the day, haha, but it was quite enjoyable. As I thought about everything that's happening in my life, a sort of peace happened. I don't really know how to describe it other than using the word Zen. I've never really done that kind of stuff, but it seems that that's the only word to describe the feeling. It was so nice to be in a state of complete calmness that I couldn't help but come home and blog about it.
With this state of "zen", I also came up with a few good poems that will have to (unfortunately) wait until Sunday. I also came up with the conclusion that no matter how crazy life gets, it always goes on. I'm sure that's been said a million times, but actually believing it is the key. And today, I finally believed it.
Well, after all this, I still have half a week left here in Idaho. I hope it goes by fast so I can get to work at 7am on Monday morning. Why I'm scheduled that early, I have no idea. Anyways, thanks for reading! :)
Allison S. De Arton
Sunday, September 2, 2012
P.O.C.A. (poem on current-life affairs)
Madly Enraged
I don't get what I did wrong.
You say "do this, do that" when you've known
All along
That I'd be left in the dust
And cold,
And you'd refuse to help me because
You're 'too old'.
I remember that night in my head so
Clear,
When we laughed, and cried, and talked so
Dear.
I won't forget the way you make me feel,
But it's time to wake up,
Let go, and get back
To reality...because those feelings
Are all too real.
Allison S. De Arton
The Opposite of "Hello" , Week 3
There are a lot of poems
Speaking of the opposite of "hello".
They usually ask questions like,"how could you?","why did you?"
And most importantly, "where exactly did you go?"
Simple questions, yet answers so complicated.
Heart breaking moments leaving one so frustrated.
The opposite of "hello" might make one cry,
So I guess it's my time to finally say it...here goes...so long,
And goodbye.
Allison S. De Arton
Speaking of the opposite of "hello".
They usually ask questions like,"how could you?","why did you?"
And most importantly, "where exactly did you go?"
Simple questions, yet answers so complicated.
Heart breaking moments leaving one so frustrated.
The opposite of "hello" might make one cry,
So I guess it's my time to finally say it...here goes...so long,
And goodbye.
Allison S. De Arton
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
A Little Bit of Allison
I figured I should give a small bio about myself. Being that I always have a million things to say, I doubt this will be a "small bio", but thanks for reading nonetheless.
I also figured since I sort of just jump started this blog, I should probably mention why I'm doing it, and be more elaborate with my reasoning this time.
Well, to start off, I am 19 (tomorrow I'll be 20), working at Best Buy while living in Salt Lake. I graduated high school in 2010, and have enjoyed every minute of my life since. I actually like high school too, but it seems that life began June 2nd, 2010...the day after I was officially through with high school and all of it's glories.
I was born in Idaho Falls, Idaho on August 30th, a short week and a half before my dear mother's birthday. When I was about to turn 7, we moved to Seattle, WA. I did most of my "growing up" there. I miss that beautiful place more and more everyday. When I had already completed three years of middle school and about to turn 14, we moved back to Idaho Falls. To my dismay, I had yet another year of junior high to complete. There were a lot of unintelligent mumbles that summer...all of which my mother (luckily) did not hear.
I won't lie, 9th grade was not my finest school year. Due to medical reasons, I completed the year through packets and online classes. I guess dreading another year of junior high got me out of it somehow ;) ...totally kidding.
I finally returned to public school my sophomore year. I was elected 2nd runner up for Homecoming Dutchess (is that how you spell it? My computer is saying it's wrong..), and by this point I couldn't be more in love with the high school experience. I decided one night to cut my hair, and this resulted in quite the awful look...and 3 years of growing it out. That was a tough time.
I met my best friend Christine Weber that year, and Chelsie Holm as well. Chelsie moved to UT our junior year, but Christine and I made the best of Idaho and what it has to offer. I'm not sure if you know this, but the common misconception of Idaho Falls is that there isn't anything to do. Although this is partially true, Christine and I proved this theory wrong. We had quite the life...what, with driving on soccer complexes, following cars until they got creeped out, and (my favorite) laying on the car horn at 2am in ex-boyfriend's neighborhoods. Yes, we were your typical teenage best friends. Loud, obnoxious, careless, and somehow got good grades. Christine and I didn't have a care in the world and loved all the things we did there at Skyline High School.
As the 3 years passed, my dream came true my senior year. Christian Bale showed up at my door and we...I'm kidding. Haha, I was the Grizzly Bear Mascot at the Emotion Bowl. The Emotion Bowl is the biggest rivalry game in Idaho, and made the top 10 in the U.S. . Needless to say, this game was a big deal. To have a part in it made my high school career.
After I graduated, I worked 4 jobs..adding up to an average of 80-85 hours a week. Some might say this is crazy, but that was my favorite summer of all time. I've come to realize that I LOVE working. Weird, right? Maybe Best Buy has brain washed me after all ;)
I went to BYU-I the following September. I enjoyed it, but they didn't have a dental program, so I split before I got too attached. I moved to CA for a couple months, had a job, then relocated back home, and returned to school at LDSBC in Sept. of 2011. I didn't like that school much at all, but I fell in love with Salt Lake. So I moved. I've been here since January this year, and have worked at Best Buy since February 11th. So, that's a "small" recap of my life.
Some might ask why I am doing this blog. Well, it all begins with my supervisor Justin Hayes. As it turns out, he started a photo blog earlier this year. I mentioned it in my first post...but anyways. He and I have become quite good friends since I've been working there. He has helped me through a lot of these life lessons I am continuing to learn. He and I understand (as he would put it) each other's weirdness. So, one day Justin and I were talking and I told him about my passion for writing. He said I could be like Elizabeth Something-Or-Other and die and have my work be found, and be famous then. OR I could put myself out there and see what happens. He gave me this advice a few months ago, and I pondered it quite frequently. Finally, I gained the confidence to just do it. So I owe whatever fame I do or don't get to Justin Hayes. May that be noted.
I've decided that I can blog whenever I want, but poems are only allowed on Sundays. And only two poems. There is the 52 week challenge poem I will do, and one poem called "A Poem on Current Life-Affairs" in which case it will be a personal favorite, or a poem I wrote that day. I have had to restrain myself from posting more.
Well friends, if you have taken the time to read this whole thing, thank you. I really appreciate the time you've invested in reading my blog. To blogging! :)
Allison S. De Arton
I also figured since I sort of just jump started this blog, I should probably mention why I'm doing it, and be more elaborate with my reasoning this time.
Well, to start off, I am 19 (tomorrow I'll be 20), working at Best Buy while living in Salt Lake. I graduated high school in 2010, and have enjoyed every minute of my life since. I actually like high school too, but it seems that life began June 2nd, 2010...the day after I was officially through with high school and all of it's glories.
I was born in Idaho Falls, Idaho on August 30th, a short week and a half before my dear mother's birthday. When I was about to turn 7, we moved to Seattle, WA. I did most of my "growing up" there. I miss that beautiful place more and more everyday. When I had already completed three years of middle school and about to turn 14, we moved back to Idaho Falls. To my dismay, I had yet another year of junior high to complete. There were a lot of unintelligent mumbles that summer...all of which my mother (luckily) did not hear.
I won't lie, 9th grade was not my finest school year. Due to medical reasons, I completed the year through packets and online classes. I guess dreading another year of junior high got me out of it somehow ;) ...totally kidding.
I finally returned to public school my sophomore year. I was elected 2nd runner up for Homecoming Dutchess (is that how you spell it? My computer is saying it's wrong..), and by this point I couldn't be more in love with the high school experience. I decided one night to cut my hair, and this resulted in quite the awful look...and 3 years of growing it out. That was a tough time.
I met my best friend Christine Weber that year, and Chelsie Holm as well. Chelsie moved to UT our junior year, but Christine and I made the best of Idaho and what it has to offer. I'm not sure if you know this, but the common misconception of Idaho Falls is that there isn't anything to do. Although this is partially true, Christine and I proved this theory wrong. We had quite the life...what, with driving on soccer complexes, following cars until they got creeped out, and (my favorite) laying on the car horn at 2am in ex-boyfriend's neighborhoods. Yes, we were your typical teenage best friends. Loud, obnoxious, careless, and somehow got good grades. Christine and I didn't have a care in the world and loved all the things we did there at Skyline High School.
As the 3 years passed, my dream came true my senior year. Christian Bale showed up at my door and we...I'm kidding. Haha, I was the Grizzly Bear Mascot at the Emotion Bowl. The Emotion Bowl is the biggest rivalry game in Idaho, and made the top 10 in the U.S. . Needless to say, this game was a big deal. To have a part in it made my high school career.
After I graduated, I worked 4 jobs..adding up to an average of 80-85 hours a week. Some might say this is crazy, but that was my favorite summer of all time. I've come to realize that I LOVE working. Weird, right? Maybe Best Buy has brain washed me after all ;)
I went to BYU-I the following September. I enjoyed it, but they didn't have a dental program, so I split before I got too attached. I moved to CA for a couple months, had a job, then relocated back home, and returned to school at LDSBC in Sept. of 2011. I didn't like that school much at all, but I fell in love with Salt Lake. So I moved. I've been here since January this year, and have worked at Best Buy since February 11th. So, that's a "small" recap of my life.
Some might ask why I am doing this blog. Well, it all begins with my supervisor Justin Hayes. As it turns out, he started a photo blog earlier this year. I mentioned it in my first post...but anyways. He and I have become quite good friends since I've been working there. He has helped me through a lot of these life lessons I am continuing to learn. He and I understand (as he would put it) each other's weirdness. So, one day Justin and I were talking and I told him about my passion for writing. He said I could be like Elizabeth Something-Or-Other and die and have my work be found, and be famous then. OR I could put myself out there and see what happens. He gave me this advice a few months ago, and I pondered it quite frequently. Finally, I gained the confidence to just do it. So I owe whatever fame I do or don't get to Justin Hayes. May that be noted.
I've decided that I can blog whenever I want, but poems are only allowed on Sundays. And only two poems. There is the 52 week challenge poem I will do, and one poem called "A Poem on Current Life-Affairs" in which case it will be a personal favorite, or a poem I wrote that day. I have had to restrain myself from posting more.
Well friends, if you have taken the time to read this whole thing, thank you. I really appreciate the time you've invested in reading my blog. To blogging! :)
Allison S. De Arton
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Week 2: Stars
Preface: I decided to put two poems each Sunday. One will be a current-life-affairs reflection, and the other will be part of the 52 week challenge. Deal? Ok bloggers...here's Week 2!
Stars
As I'm looking at the stars in the skies,
they are yet still no comparison to the ones in your eyes.
Your warm embrace holds me close,
With these crazy love pills, I could overdose.
As I adore your smile from afar,
I can't wait to find out who you really are.
Your body's touch against my cold hand
is why I can't get enough of you, I've come to understand.
As I listen to your melodic voice,
I realize that when I'm with you, there's no other noise.
If one day, you'd allow me your heart,
I would allow you mine, and we'd be together forever and never part.
My Dear Sue
My Dear Sue
I've never confronted you,
My dear Sue.
I've never written a word for you,
My dear Sue.
Until this poem, I've let you win,
My dear Sue.
Until now, my stories I'd let you begin,
My dear Sue.
I've grown quite used to you,
through all these years.
I've been quite sick of you,
through all these years.
To be honest with you,
My dear Sue.
I want you to leave. Please do,
My dear Sue.
I can let you stay and hang out,
My dear Sue.
Unfortunately though, I have you figured out,
My dear Sue.
So I'm going to let you go,
after all these tears.
I won't let you have control of me, no,
after all these tears.
Goodbye, My dear Sue.
I'm so excited to be rid of you.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Week 1: Poems
I write a lot of poems.
Why, I don't even know
I guess I know...
It could make sense.
I just love how words can flow.
I have a lot of poems,
About this or that.
I used to recite them
To my beloved cat.
I like poems because they help me let go.
So why do I write poems? Well, now even you know.
Allison S. De Arton
Why, I don't even know
I guess I know...
It could make sense.
I just love how words can flow.
I have a lot of poems,
About this or that.
I used to recite them
To my beloved cat.
I like poems because they help me let go.
So why do I write poems? Well, now even you know.
Allison S. De Arton
Thursday, August 16, 2012
A New Idea...
So I don't know how to delete posts, but ah well. We'll just pretend this is my first ;)
I have a close friend who takes a lot of pictures. He has a very nice camera, so he does this challenge where he basically takes a cool photo everyday and posts it online. He also adds a little food-for-thought sort of message along with it. Well, one day I told him I like to write and he said I should "put myself out there". After some thought and consideration, I decided he was right. I should put my writings online. Being that I already have a blog, I figured I'd just do this on my blog. So, I will post poems, short stories, and whatever I feel like once a week. Hopefully I'll be able to come up with something each week :) I decided I'll do a post each Sunday. I won't do one today, but I just thought I'd prep everyone on what I'm going to do :)
For those of you who read that little shpeal, thank you, and I hope you enjoy! Check back on Sunday!
I have a close friend who takes a lot of pictures. He has a very nice camera, so he does this challenge where he basically takes a cool photo everyday and posts it online. He also adds a little food-for-thought sort of message along with it. Well, one day I told him I like to write and he said I should "put myself out there". After some thought and consideration, I decided he was right. I should put my writings online. Being that I already have a blog, I figured I'd just do this on my blog. So, I will post poems, short stories, and whatever I feel like once a week. Hopefully I'll be able to come up with something each week :) I decided I'll do a post each Sunday. I won't do one today, but I just thought I'd prep everyone on what I'm going to do :)
For those of you who read that little shpeal, thank you, and I hope you enjoy! Check back on Sunday!
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